Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous.

I do have the roller skates from 'Boogie Nights.'

The Orioles' Dick Hall comes off the mound like a drunk kangaroo on roller skates.

The Orioles' Dick Hall comes off the mound like a drunk kangaroo on roller skates.

If you don't know how to play hockey, learn. If you quit, get back out there.

That's what makes it so fun to be on a team. You're sitting at your house, thinking up this wild, crazy stuff as to how it's going to go, and the other guys are sitting at their houses doing the same thing.