Here lies W.C.Fields. I'd rather be living in Philadelphia.

Whatsume'er the failings on his part, Remember reader he were that good in his hart.

Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.

I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.