Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

On the whole I would rather be in Philadelphia.

I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

It's all a pack of lies and the National Enquirer was told it was a pack of lies.

Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.