Herb had a sense of humor for every situation - lighthearted or serious. With a joke he'd make something serious seem lighthearted.

Crime against our drivers is dramatically down. We couldn't be happier.

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

If you want to be seen, stand up.
If you want to be heard, speak up.
If you want to be appreciated, shut up.