Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'