...God created the world in six days. On the seventh day, he rested. On the eighth day, he started getting complaints. And it hasn't stopped since.

A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

As my father always used to tell me, 'You see, son, there's always someone in the world worse off than you.' And I always used to think, 'So?

He has a pattern of filing phony complaints against me.

There have been some complaints against some local hotels for price gouging ... those are being referred to the attorney general.