Giving reasons during conflict to justify or defend a viewpoint is just as manipulative as giving reasons to attack that viewpoint. Neither of these routes is an honest assertive I want that can lead to a workable compromise of interests to quickly resolve the conflict.

A BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTS

I: You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.

II: You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behavior.

III: You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.

IV: You have the right to change your mind.

V: You have the right to make mistakes—and be responsible for them.

VI: You have the right to say, “I don’t know.”

VII: You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.

VIII: You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.

IX: You have the right to say, “I don’t understand.”

X: You have the right to say, “I don’t care.”

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY

Assertive & determined people stick to values. Others may shift opinions immediately,but assertive & determined people resist the urge to change the course of action.. Indecisiveness is hardly a problem for them. They know exactly where they are going and are determined to overcome all distractions and hindrances.

Assertiveness is the ability to clearly state what one expects so that there will be no misunderstandings. One must be assertive to get the desired results. Along with assertiveness comes the responsibility to clearly understand what other expects from you.

Assertiveness requires boldness that most low self esteem do not have. They are often too fearful to tell the truth or what they want, or share their feelings. They are withdrawn and isolated & feeling embarrassed, humiliated, devastated, depressed. To cover up their short comings , they may become aggressive,defensive, sarcastic or rude, even violent such as is the case with domestic, gang, and teen violence.

Assertive communication makes sense because you're willing to stand up for just cause and express your thoughts and feelings. It also demonstrates that you're aware of the rights of others and are willing to work on resolving conflicts.It's not just what you say in your message but also how you say it that's important. Assertive communication is direct and respectful.Assertive communication works because it respects you and others.