Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

I have a phonetic fetish. All I want is to find a man whose last name ends in 'Vrski' and marry him.
Try saying VRSKI. Oh, don't be a tight-ass. SAY IT.
Don't you love the purring sound it makes in your mouth? It's the kind of name I love waking up to every morning - 'Good morning, BlahBlahVrski', the kind I can brag about on Facebook - 'Judy Balan has now changed her name to Judy SomethingVrski' and the kind I can scream in a fit of passion - 'Ohhhhh Vrrrrssskkkkiiiii!

I love therapy. I don't get the taboo about seeking therapy at all. It's exactly like taking Buzzfeed quizzes. At the end of the day, we all want to know what cocktail we are. But it means so much more when it comes from a shrink. It's like 'Ooh, I really am Liquid Cocaine!

Modern-Day Parenting is no joke. For starters, no one takes you seriously unless you have a fancy parenting style.
Tiger Mom, Helicopter Mom, Organic Mom and on and on.
I've decided to go with L-Board Mom. I may look like I don't know what I'm doing but you want to keep safe distance 'cause you know I can hurt you and get away with it.

There's a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate work. I've always written jokes that I would want to hear. So, I'm trying to entertain myself more than anything.

My heart always timidly hides itself behind my mind. I set out to bring down stars from the sky, then, for fear of ridicule, I stop and pick little flowers of eloquence.