Jim Jefferies
Related MARIA SHRIVER CHRIS ROCK How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful. EVANS G. VALENS COREY TAYLOR Plunging in “truths” about God is like walking on the bottom of a sea that is not there, searchi... MARIANA FULGER I write in reverse: Rather than come up with a narrative and write jokes for that narrative, I write... JEFF KINNEY CHARLES BUKOWSKI MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. NICK KROLL NICHOLAS SPARKS STEPHEN CHBOSKY NICHOLAS SPARKS NICHOLAS SPARKS HARPER LEE HARPER LEE We want to get the post involved a lot more. We've got a lot of guys who can play down low so we wan... ALEX WHITE A Ritual to Read to Each OtherWILLIAM STAFFORD I started doing a lot of record dates and lots of commercial stuff. I started to grow tired of the b... SCOTTY MORRIS DEYTH BANGER CRAIG GROESCHEL LES CLAYPOOL I think that will make a huge difference in people's behavior. I think there were a lot of people wh... ANNA RAPPAPORT MIKE BIRBIGLIA NICHOLAS SPARKS She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappr... GAIL CARRIGER FRED WILLARD WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE My brother and I had a reputation for telling real bad jokes. We told the worst jokes in town. As a ... WALLY HIRSTEIN I'm hitting it nicely and I'll try to keep it going. There are a lot of people who want to win this ... DARREN CLARKE Just like a comedian has a certain joke or a jazz musician has a riff that they know will get the cr... SAVION GLOVER CHRISTINA ENGELA JOAN DIDION We can never make proper goodbyes. It was your last ride in a Checker cab and you had no warning. It... COLSON WHITEHEAD ARCHIE PANJABI I definitely am a performer, and there are different styles of stand-up; I mean, some people are wri... CHRIS D'ELIA Just looking at them, they really like to mix up their defenses a lot. They play a lot of zone but w... BRETT NORRIS STEVEN MOFFAT DAVE GORMAN I always try to act as though there is a little boy or a little girl around, and I try never to do a... STEVE GARVEY It would be easy to say that I want to play a role that was very much like myself, but more or less ... SUMMER ALTICE JEAN-LUC GODARD I would always try to cheer them on at practice. I'll try to get them to do certain things in practi... AMY SIEDLECKI No matter how efficient you try to be, there will always be a chance that the people you work with o... DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA A lot of them have been team players. They're trying to step up and do events that maybe they haven'... CARL CHANCELLOR I can get along great with the Hispanics. In fact, I sure would like to meet them, even the politici... JOE ARPAIO I'm always looking for the players to play at a high level. There's always things we can improve on.... JEFF HOLMAN HARPER LEE The role of the
Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to
think of themselve... LEWIS N. ROE Naturalistic atheism debunks itself. It
has no power to explain even some
of the most basic principl... LEWIS N. ROE It's important to understand that if
someone calls themselves a Christian, it does not automatically... LEWIS N. ROE A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung... PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN Or maybe they take a few classes and they are trying to work at the same time. We see a lot of that. JULIA PADGETT But now that he's down in Florida, I think he's doing it for the girls, to try to impress them. Boys... DENISE HOLMES Maybe it is the war or the movies or because this generation was bred on radio comedy, but I found o... EDGAR BERGEN There might be one or two guys try that. Maybe. But for the most part, I think we have guys who resp... FRANK LICKLITER A lot of actors would tell you that they'd rather play the villain than the hero. When you'r... TOM ELLIS I set myself up to be a bass guitarist and bass players get a lot more work than people like me. JOHN ENTWISTLE My parents are really funny. Laughter was a big part of my childhood. Of course, they tell a lot of ... CECILY STRONG In the life of any actor or actress, there is inevitably a time when they will be eligible to act in... ED STOPPARD What bothers me more than anything else is that they've been trying a lot of things. A year ago, it ... BOB GOLDSBOROUGH You get those guys with the high ERAs and you expect to go out there and beat up on them. You try to... LYLE OVERBAY CHRIS HARDWICK Yeah, I figured that out myself. From listening. I would have learned a lot quicker if I had someone... YNGWIE MALMSTEEN AIMEE BENDER If they want to get involved, they should know that they don't have to be Christian or Buddhist or a... SUSIE HIBBELER DANICA PATRICK Most women go through life looking for love, and looking for someone to treat them like a queen. For... TAISEN DESHIMARU STEPHEN COLBERT I don't think anything else can be hopeful or accomplished if you have the fear that you will get ar... MICHAEL CHABON RALPH BOSTON You hear people say that Philadelphia doesn't have corporate or banking work. The fact is that I don... CHRIS BEALS DEYTH BANGER I think you have to embrace being a role model because you are in the public eye, and whether you li... AMANDA BYNES I thought they'd try to run a lot more outside to open up the field. I think after a while, they wer... ERIC WICKS My dad, he worked rebar, an ironworker. Watching my pops get up every single morning, going into wor... BRYCE HARPER Every time I go out there, I try not to fear anybody. I always want to earn the respect of my teamma... JONATHAN PAPELBON Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is nev... A WALK TO REMEMBER He's standing in a cluster of black T-shirts - together, they look like the wilted petals on a singl... HOLLY SCHINDLER ANGUS YOUNG KEVIN BACON C.S. LEWIS Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ... FEREIDOON YAZDI Christopher jokes that if we ever have twins, we'd have to name them Dennis and Emily. But I have a ... BARRY MURPHY I think of myself more as a filmmaker or as a film person than as strictly just a writer. I don'... PETER GOULD A lot quieter. He's always cracking jokes. CAITLIN METZLER ALBERT BROOKS FRANK OCEAN A book does not make bad jokes, drink too much or eat more than you can afford to pay for. KENNETH TURAN TALIB KWELI I want to try to put them in a place where they have a shot. That's part of my job. A lot of guys st... TIM MCRAE He won't know who I am or anything like that. But that doesn't bother me and I don't want him to kno... JAMES QUINN In the real world, they told you who to be, not the other way around. RHODA BELLEZA MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw the... SERGIO ARAGONES There are a million things I can think of that I would I want to do. Reporting like you, would be on... JUSTIN GUARINI As far back as history records people thinking, thinking people
have been befuddled by the mysteries... LEWIS N. ROE Playing a lot of people lends itself to confidence. Those guys know that they're going to get a chan... GREG TACON NEIL PATRICK HARRIS CHESTER BROWN
More Jim Jefferies
I have a financial advisor who advises me but he wouldn't reckon himself to be involved 'in the game... JIM JEFFERIES He knew that we would have got £100,000 more for him from Sheffield Wednesday so decided to let Kil... JIM JEFFERIES It seems to me that they only seem to mention things in the Bible that are within a 5 mile radius of... JIM JEFFERIES No tyrant, however evil, has yet lacked ready hands to execute his most abominable will. To read how... RICHARD JEFFERIES To the darkness and the night, the spirits seem to have a natural claim - it is their realm; the bol... RICHARD JEFFERIES A kestrel can and does hover in the dead calm of summer days, when there is not the faintest breath ... RICHARD JEFFERIES Almost every labourer has his Sunday suit, very often really good clothes, sometimes glossy black, w... RICHARD JEFFERIES It would seem that the ant works its way tentatively, and, observing where it fails, tries another p... RICHARD JEFFERIES Ever since the world began, it has been the belief of mankind that desolate places are the special h... RICHARD JEFFERIES Science, as illustrated by the printing press, the telegraph, the railway, is a double-edged sword. ... RICHARD JEFFERIES The 'crownd' is still the unit, the favourite coin of the labourers, especially the elder fo... RICHARD JEFFERIES The heart has a yearning for the unknown, a longing to penetrate the deep shadow and the winding gla... RICHARD JEFFERIES The old Greeks dwelt on the tendency of human affairs to drift downwards irresistibly to unhappiness... RICHARD JEFFERIES The labourer's muscle is that of a cart-horse, his motions lumbering and slow. RICHARD JEFFERIES The cottages erected by farmers or by landlords are now, one and all, fit and proper habitations for... RICHARD JEFFERIES I believe in the human form; let me find something, some method, by which that form may achieve the ... RICHARD JEFFERIES If every plant and flower were found in all places, the charm of locality would not exist. Everythin... RICHARD JEFFERIES This sunlight linked me through the ages to that past consciousness. RICHARD JEFFERIES "When you learn to see reflections, you indulge your eyes"
- Cabe Jefferies CABE JEFFERIES When even the most strictly logical mind looks round and investigates the phenomena attending its ow... RICHARD JEFFERIES Many labourers can trace their descent from farmers or well-to-do people, and it is not uncommon to ... RICHARD JEFFERIES Grief falls upon human beings as the rain, not selecting good or evil, visiting the innocent, condem... RICHARD JEFFERIES Some, I verily believe, delight to be slave-men; it is a joy to them, and they would not change thei... RICHARD JEFFERIES The workman in the true sense of the word - the artist in guns - is either extinct, or hidden in an ... RICHARD JEFFERIES It is quite true that women like courage, and that boldness often goes a long way; but it is questio... RICHARD JEFFERIES I liked the overall feel and they were the one school that actually sent me handwritten notes. When ... JAMES JEFFERIES They are getting a lot of good recruits like Orlando Moore and Phillip Brown from Morgan Park (both ... JAMES JEFFERIES It all starts with the defense. Our job is to give the ball to the offense in good position. JAMES JEFFERIES We had emphasized that we'd see a lot of pitchers. We were trying to get a good pitch to drive early... JEFFERIES TATFORD We've been staying sound in all three areas of the game ... pitching, defense and hitting. It's big ... JEFFERIES TATFORD JIM MORRISON JIM ROHN JIM MORRISON JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM DAVIS JIM RAMSTAD I wanted to make an Indian character who wasn't either a) the savage that must be eliminated, th... JIM JARMUSCH JIM MORRISON JIM ROHN JIM MORRISON JIM MORRISON JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM CARREY JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM HENSON JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM LEE I always received much more satisfaction as a defense attorney in obtaining an acquittal for a clien... JIM GARRISON I derive no pleasure from prosecuting a man, even though I know he's guilty; do you think I coul... JIM GARRISON The head of the CIA, it seems to me, would think long and hard before he admitted that former employ... JIM GARRISON This kind of charge reveals a good deal about the personality of the people who make it; to impute s... JIM GARRISON I'm not in the business of harassing anybody. JIM GARRISON It's rather naive, apart from being ethically objectionable, to assume that our investigators tr... JIM GARRISON My office has been one of the most scrupulous in the country with regard to the protection of indivi... JIM GARRISON It is important to know who killed Jack Kennedy and why. JIM GARRISON Until as recently as November of 1966, I had complete faith in the Warren Report. Of course, my fait... JIM GARRISON It has been my policy not to respond to each of the many canards which have been part of the campaig... JIM GARRISON It would certainly be interesting to know what the CIA knew about Oswald six weeks before the assass... JIM GARRISON I'm convinced from what I know of Vernon Bundy that his testimony was truthful. JIM GARRISON I'm afraid, based on my own experience, that fascism will come to America in the name of nationa... JIM GARRISON I ran for Congress in 1996 to help Ted Kennedy pass a comprehensive health insurance reform bill. JIM MCGOVERN I thought Iraq was the wrong war at the wrong time and have been fighting to get the Administration ... JIM MCGOVERN In 2005, I was the first member of Congress to introduce legislation calling for an immediate withdr... JIM MCGOVERN A large majority of Americans believe that corporations exert too much influence on our daily lives ... JIM MCGOVERN Corporations are created by the people, acting through their governments. We grant them corporate ch... JIM MCGOVERN JIM CARREY JIM BROWN My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize l... JIM GAFFIGAN JIM CARREY JIM MORRISON JIM ROHN I suspect that most people in the world will travel through or at least wish to travel through Miami... JIM DRAIN JIM RAMSTAD I go out and take oysters, clams and mussels every 2 weeks or so during late fall, winter and early ... JIM HIMES JIM ROHN JIM CRACE JIM MORRISON Tens of thousands of brave Americans died to break the chains of British tyranny so that the princip... JIM GERLACH JIM HARRISON JIM WEBB JIM BROWN JIM COOPER JIM ROHN JIM BROWN JIM BROWN JIM LOEHR Yet only the atrocities of the conquered are referred to as criminal acts; those of the conqueror ar... JIM FERGUS I looked at her, with her hair spilled out on the pillows and the warmth of her body warming mine. A... JIM THOMPSON British actors come at acting from a slightly different angle. Because a lot of the films are cast o... JIM STURGESS With new jobs, new ideas, and growing confidence that our brightest days lie ahead, Wisconsin is on ... JIM DOYLE I like reflecting the culture I understand best, spotting the idiosyncrasies of British people and r... JIM BROADBENT During school, I'd advertise cars in the University of British Columbia newspaper. JIM PATTISON JIM LEE JIM COSTA JIM ROGERS Long gone are the days when hospital stays and surgeries made up the bulk of seniors' annual med... JIM GERLACH JIM RYUN JIM CARREY JIM BUTCHER There's enormous progressive activism and, more often than not, success at the grassroots level ... JIM HIGHTOWER What created democracy was Thomas Paine and Shays' Rebellion, the suffragists and the abolitioni... JIM HIGHTOWER JIM RAMSTAD JIM LEHRER JIM CARREY JIM LEHRER JIM HARRISON JIM BACKUS JIM FOWLER JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN In fact, the Iraqi foreign minister admitted in March 2003 that Iraqi funds were sent to families of... JIM GERLACH JIM BISHOP JIM BROWN JIM MORRISON A loving family provides the foundation children need to succeed, and strong families with a man and... JIM BUNNING errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not<... JIM BUTCHER We started Vector with the goal of creating a development platform that would foster and bolster the... JIM CANTRELL When people look and decide they have nothing in common with me - I'm 43, balding, blond, whatev... JIM GAFFIGAN JIM CRACE Come on, Come on, and there'll be no turning back. You were only killing time and it can kill you ri... JIM STEINMAN JIM RYUN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN As a kid, I just loved cartoons. And as the credits went by, I'd study those names and then try ... JIM CUMMINGS A lot of poets too live on the margins of social acceptance, they certainly aren't in it for the... JIM JARMUSCH JIM ROHN JIM ROHN JIM ROHN Productivity is being able to do things that you were never able to do before. JIM MANZI JIM HENSON JIM MORRISON JIM BUTCHER JIM MORRISON JIM HENSON JIM BUTCHER JIM MORRISON JIM MORRISON JIM BUTCHER JIM HENSON
I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who a... 
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Ro... 
Yeah, I crack myself up a lot more than I crack anybody else up, but that is okay. At least I am sma... 
if it doesn't come bursting out of you
Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But Im not concerned about ... 
Whether it's corporate investigations or comedy, there are certain inherent truths to trying to ... 
Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting. 
I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me. 
You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk on... 
I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix. 
Most of us think we're too busy or too important to rest for a day. 
Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get gu... 
Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jo... 
In this last movie, I gave it quite a lot of thought to my character, and I fell back on a lot of ma... 
To be, or not to be, that is the question. 
Anyways, that very same night there was a fight in the casino on B Deck. Some of the passengers got ... 
All I ever did to that apartment was hang fifty yards of yellow theatrical silk across the bedroom w... 
I like to do new things, so I always take on roles that I feel will keep me on my toes. I never want... 
I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humour rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a st... 
Every time I told them a true bit, it got a bigger reaction than any of the jokes I had written, 
To be or not to be. That's not really a question. 
There are just some kind of men who-who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learn... 
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. 
I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so ... 
I get a little myopic in the act of doing any writing. I think I'm not as interested or not as a... 
You know, I was up there racing with those guys at Chicago, and they're just going to have to tolera... 
The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work... 
So you had to rev your engines, to beat the Russians and I think more than anything, if the Soviet t... 
I don't like to play above or below people's heads. Basically, I just like to get up front of a crow... 
People work so hard, and I want to keep that energy up, and you can spread that if you're the ac... 
The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surpr... 
I made my living in comedy, but I'm not a silly person. I've got all these sides to me. Even... 
A friend of mine jokes that I have a painstaking royalty complex. Like maybe I was a duke in a past ... 
I remember looking back on a photo of me... wearing a suit that was, like, two sizes too big for me.... 
I think, like a lot of actors and people in the arts who are struggling to get where they want to be... 
With the Tonys it's a little tricky because a lot of the funnier jokes are more insider, so peop... 
I think people should have the legal right to hurt themselves without fearing that they're going... 
When you make your peace with authority, you become authority. 
Make measurable progress in reasonable time. 
Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as ravens claws. 
I was in and out of comas until I was nine and I would lose entire days and weeks. The novelty of be... 
I stop short of being a workaholic. 
Usually I commit to something in my head and then I start drawing. 
As we celebrate President Reagan's remarkable career and historic legacy, we also celebrate a ma... 
Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. 
My family kinda hit the skids. We were experiencing poverty at that point. We all got a job, where t... 
Green Eggs and Ham was the story of my life. I wouldn't eat a thing when I was a kid, but Dr. Se... 
I need privacy. I would think that because what I do makes a lot of people happy that I might deserv... 
Actually the copies of characters is something I don't particularly like to talk about in articl... 
Well, Detroit Institute is kind of a key - probably the largest permanent collection of puppets in t... 
There was a little afternoon show that was called Afternoon. Back in those days in television, most ... 
Success is steady progress toward one's personal goals. 
There was something special and unique about the love triangle that existed between Clark Kent, Supe... 
A liberal will cut off your leg so he can hand you a crutch. 
Each generation wants new symbols, new people, new names. They want to divorce themselves from their... 
Narrative has been part of human consciousness for a long time. And if it has played a part in all t... 
You can't be unhappy in the middle of a big, beautiful river. 
The injustices endured by black Americans at the hands of their own government have no parallel in o... 
Martin Luther King was a misguided leader. He worked to be recognized as the leader of black America... 
Bush may be a strong leader in the war on terrorism, but on budget deficits he is missing-in-action. 
Boundary setting is really a huge part of time management. 
The first time I drew a Superman story was 'For Tomorrow' with Brian Azzarello in 2004. It d... 
The financial report makes it very clear that if we got into honest budgeting today, that in fact we... 
Historically, there has been a bull market in commodities every 20 or 30 years. 
Mr. Speaker, we have reached a point in history where some have forgotten that it is the family, not... 
Fear is a part of life. It's a warning mechanism. That's all. It tells you when there's danger aroun... 
In my home State of Minnesota, I have seen firsthand the importance of Byrne grants to local police ... 
A debate has one purpose, one purpose only, and that is to facilitate the exchange of ideas directly... 
I wanted to be a bus driver when I was a kid. I look at bus driving through the eyes of a little boy... 
Success and money can really be quite blinding. 
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress. 
Then a neighbor, Mr Smith, had a dairy cow and an couple bulls. He showed me how to bluff a bull. 
It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future, and impossible to live in ... 
An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not<... 
Mr. Chairman, on September 11, we were attacked by terrorists who took advantage of weaknesses in ou... 
Sleep is God. Go worship. 