Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Birth Kids Respect

Related Quotes

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

— Joan Rivers

BirthBirth Of ChildCord

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

— Joan Rivers

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.

— Joan Rivers

BackBirthDaughter

I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.

— Joan Rivers

BeginningFeyGood

Show business is - you're there by somebody's fluke. And as long as somebody likes you, and the show is going well, you're fine. I'd do anything. There's so much I want to do.

— Joan Rivers

AnythingBusinessFine