Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.

I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, 'You were a good boy onstage and you did your show, so now you can have some cake and ice cream.'

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.

I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.

I love competition because I've always run faster when somebody was running next to me.

It seems like we wake up and it's a race until you get to bed. It gets to you after a while and you think, 'What the hell am I doing?'