Do you sell anything that can answer a yes or no question?“ I asked him.

"For entertainment purposes,” he asked me not bothering to look up, “or for real?”

I squelched the impulse to scream, “What do you think, you jackass?” Maybe he was asking a serious question- though I had my doubts. “You’re the one with the metaphysical shop. If I wanted a magic Eight Ball, I’d go to SaverPlus.”

He looked up at me and grinned. “Did you notice the new guy who works at the return counter in the SaverPlus basement?He’s kind of a creep- which I think I like about him- and he’s got this monster bulge in his pants.”

I could totally see him getting into someone who was a creep. “Um. No.”

“They’re still open. Why don’t you go buy a Magic Eight Ball so I can return it?”

“No.”

“Then what the fuck good are you?