Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

Does it really matter what these affectionate people do-- so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses!

The deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-lounge.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn full-bodied with age until they go sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.