Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.

Frankly, if I could get away with not having to perform, I'd be very happy. It's not my favorite thing to do.

I would wear a full-length cape if I could get away with it - I do love a good swirl in a fog.

If I could get the respect of 14-year-olds, I'm happy. They're the toughest audience.

To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news.

If I could sing, I wouldn't be a guitarist.