Cynicism is humor in ill health.

Within he felt that faint stirring of derision for the whole business of life which is the salt of the American mentality. Outwardly they are sentimental and enthusiastic and inwardly they are profoundly cynical.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

As my father always used to tell me, 'You see, son, there's always someone in the world worse off than you.' And I always used to think, 'So?

A cynic is just a man who found out when he was ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset.

Every ounce of my cynicism is supported by historical precedent.