FastSaying

Chuck Norris has a bear carpet in his house, the bear isn't dead its just afraid to move.


Anonymous

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JOHN GREEN Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark...
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand...
BRIAN CELIO I’m like Chuck Norris without the ass kicking.
FVZZBALL The Bear and the Fox A bear boasted very much of his philanthropy, saying that of all animals he was...
AESOP After a month or so, the novelty began to wear off. So I, like, put up a poll to see who the next on...
IAN SPECTOR It's not going to be a one-way trip. But the bear is dead and we're transitioning from a bear mood t...
AL GOLDMAN When God said "Let there be light" Chuck Norris said "Say Please."
CHUCK NORRIS The bear is what we all wrestle with. Everybody has their bear in life. It's about conquering that b...
JENNIFER LOPEZ For the dead and the living, we must bear witness.
ELIE WIESEL LIfe is your dancing bear. You assume you are in control simply because you are holding the lead and...
KERRY CUE The bear is what we all wrestle with. Everybody has their bear in life. It's about conquering th...
JENNIFER LOPEZ Men are like steel: when they lose their temper, they lose their worth. -Chuck Norris.
CHUCK NORRIS I have a relationship with the bear, and it's a relationship of mutual respect. To be afraid of him ...
CASEY ANDERSON To bear children into this world is like carrying wood to a burning house.
PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE The schoolboy, with his satchel in his hand, Whistling aloud to bear his courage up.
ROBERT BLAIR A dog that intends to bite does not bear its teeth.
TURKISH PROVERB A friend should bear his friend's infirmities.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE See the bear in his own den before you judge of his conditions.
C.S. LEWIS They would draw the designs and then my mom sent them in to Build-A-Bear and Build-A-Bear put them o...
SARAH KURZU No one, I'm sure, wants to be perceived as leaving a city in its hardest moment. How that will bear ...
HENRY CISNEROS Bruce Lee only played himself. Chuck Norris is a martial artist that does acting. I want to be an ac...
LEO HOWARD A teddy bear will give you love.
A grizzly bear will give you a mauling.
Some bears aren't...
ANTHONY T.HINCKS He chose to honor us with His priesthood. So we honor Him by honoring His priesthood - both its powe...
RUSSELL M. NELSON Dwight was everything the Bear ever said he would be.
DON SHULA Every man must bear his own burden.
VINCENT VAN GOGH The Bear and the Maiden Fair


A bear there was, a bear, a bear!
All black and b...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN The Grizzly Bear is huge and wild; / He has devoured the infant child. / The infant child is not awa...
A. E. HOUSMAN When I was 8, I thought I was Harrison Ford, Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor, Elvis, and Chuck Norris all...
DWAYNE JOHNSON Everyone ought to bear patiently the results of his own conduct.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE You know what's guaranteed? You see us in a fight with a bear, you better help the bear.
DALE DAVIS Any doctrine that will not bear investigation is not a fit tenant for the mind of an honest man. Any...
ROBERT G. INGERSOLL Fozzie Bear has so many bear puns in this script - like, 'Trac is grizzly!' 'This is unb...
JASON SEGEL All we are asked to bear we can bear
ELIZABETH GOUDGE Coming down off the trail, I am lost in my own thoughts and unprepared when a bear chugs across the ...
LOUISE ERDRICH The bubble, as investing phenomenon, has been well studied ever since the 17th-century tulip frenzy....
KENNETH L. FISHER The Endangered Species Act has been a roaring success for the grizzly bear in Yellowstone.
JAMIE RAPPAPORT CLARK I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and no...
ANONYMOUS Be scared. You cant help that. But dont be afraid. Aint nothing in the woods going to hurt you unles...
WILLIAM FAULKNER The presidency should show objectivity and bear in mind the collective interests of all its members,...
KYPROS CHRYSOSTOMIDES The Bear and the Two Travelers Two men were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on the...
AESOP For every man shall bear his own burden,
BIBLE Participate in your life, don't just bear witness to the rain washing you away.
THOMM QUACKENBUSH Everyone is bound to bear patiently the results of his own example
PHAEDRUS Bear the Cross cheerfully and it will bear you.
THOMAS KEMPIS Bear the Cross cheerfully and it will bear you.
THOMAS A KEMPIS He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE Some people are far more cognizant than others but sensitivity has its own cross to bear and ample i...
DONNA LYNN HOPE The bubble, as investing phenomenon, has been well studied ever since the 17th-century tulip bulb fr...
KENNETH FISHER A lovable, cuddly bear. i didn't need a teddy bear for backup.
LAURELL K. HAMILTON The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
ROBIN WILLIAMS The opposite of war isnt peace its creation
JONATHAN LARSON As (White House aide) Chuck Colson has said several times, 'The man bears watching.'
ROSS PEROT On Tuesday, our job was to move furniture out of this one house. There was mold on the carpet, mold ...
HEIDI FIESELMANN It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Lamentations 3:27
BIBLE It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Lamentations 3:27
BIBLE Any individual can be, in time, what he earnestly desires to be, if he but set his face steadfastly ...
J. HERMAN RANDALL Real people move, they bear with them the element of time. It is this fourth dimension of people tha...
RICHARD AVEDON I can't say I hate cats, but holy cow, dogs are a horse of another color.
TURKISH PROVERB We still like the company's competitive position but think that Bear Stearns is the most sensitive a...
ROBERT HANSEN He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE The amount of noise which anyone can bear undisturbed stands in inverse proportion to his mental cap...
ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER Whether we're a sport hunter or a bear viewer or we're Timothy Treadwell, it's all the same to the b...
NICK JANS Never forget your roots; by strengthening its foundation you shall always bear the fruits.
DR NIRVADHA SINGH He who has why to live can bear almost any how
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE What is demanded of man is not, as some existential philosophers teach, to endure the meaninglessnes...
VIKTOR E. FRANKL For the survivor who chooses to testify, it is clear: his duty is to bear witness for the dead and f...
ELIE WIESEL Sweetie. I call him 'Teddy Bear' because he loves to give bear hugs.
KAY VAUGHAN To bear other people's afflictions, everyone has courage and enough to spare.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN To be a bear and love a she-bear, that would not be such a bad life, and would, at least, be a far b...
HERMANN HESSE He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how.
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how.
FREDRICH NIETZSCHE A son could bear complacently the death of his father while the loss of his inheritance might drive ...
NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI A strong hatred is the best lamp to bear in our hands as we go over the dark places of life, cutting...
REBECCA WEST Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit.
JAMES ALLEN Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit.
JAMES LANE ALLEN A man who can't bear to share his habits is a man who needs to quit them.
STEPHEN KING When someone allows you to bear his burdens, you have found deep friendship.
GORDON ATKINSON The Nasdaq taking out its July lows says to me, 'Guys, we still have a bear market on our hands,'
RICHARD DICKSON I can't bear Catholicism.
GEORGE MICHAEL Those who can bear all can dare all.
VAUVENARGUES MARQUIS DE If possible, try to find a way to come downstairs that doesn't involve going bump, bump, bump, on th...
A.A. MILNE When speaking to a Bear of Very Little Brain, remember that long words may bother him.
A.A. MILNE Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A.A. MILNE Some things you must always be unable to bear.
WILLIAM FAULKNER Asses are made to bear, and so are you.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The James Bond movies are based off of the first few years of Chuck Norri's childhood.
FVZZBALL Now, 'that sort of Bear' is of course a bear who wants to be flattered, and it is plain that ...
FREDERICK C. CREWS A son can bear with equanimity the loss of his father, but the loss of his inheritance may drive him...
NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI To bear other peoples afflictions, every one has courage enough, and to spare.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours.
PHILLIP BROOKS We have introduced painless practices in obtaining bear bile, such as extracting the bile through tu...
WANG WEI Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.
WILLIAM BARCLAY He was amazing in his ability to get to the core of the issue and bring some common sense to bear.
DAVID BECK There is but one philosophy and its name is fortitude! To bear is to conquer our fate.
EDWARD GEORGE BULWER-LYTTON There is but one philosophy and its name is fortitude! To bear is to conquer our fate.
EDWARD G. BULWER-LYTTON Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
BIBLE We have introduced painless practices for extracting bear bile. Until we can find a good substitute ...
WANG WEI

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ANONYMOUS Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
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ANONYMOUS If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
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ANONYMOUS So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
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ANONYMOUS Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS