Children are more influenced by sermons you act than by sermons you preach.

The average man's idea of a good sermon is one that goes over his head - and hits one of his neighbors

I can not understand why ministers presume to deliver sermons every week at appointed hours because it is humanly impossible for inspirations to come with clock-like regularity

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

Most sermons sound to me like commercials - but I can't make out whether God is the Sponsor or the Product.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.