Change is always something you have to go through.

If you're a conservative, you think I'm Satan.

I save all my good e-mails. Listen to this one: 'You liberals should be deported.'

People say to me, 'Why don't you fight fire with fire?' You fight fire with water, not fire.

Christians get trees. Jews get bushes. To stay in good standing with the Tribe, you've got to refer to a Christmas tree as a Hanukkah bush.

You can't always go by the book, even in comedy.