But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last guy. Nobody's got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the whole world.

I'd rather have friends who care than friends who agree with me.

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"The Pause of Mr. Claus"

We are thrilled that we have been able to make some small dent in all that is wrong down here.

A lot of people think 'Alice's Restaurant' was an anti-war song. It's not. It's an anti-idiot song,

I'm so happy to be here.