America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.


Stephen Colbert

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Everybody wants to get on the field and stay on the field, ... So I think you have to push yourself ...
KEARY COLBERT
If you know what to do and get to your spot, that's what it's all about,
KEARY COLBERT
As far as getting the ball, I don't have so much pride where I have to have the ball or it's like, '...
KEARY COLBERT
It will happen in time, ... It's week two of a long season. I have to clean up a lot of stuff. I hav...
KEARY COLBERT
Everybody wants to be on the field, and everybody wants to stay on the field, ... There's a lot of t...
KEARY COLBERT
It will happen in time, ... It's Week 2 of a long season.
KEARY COLBERT
We learned that we had some pretty good depth and some of our youth were capable of playing larger r...
ROB COLBERT
Lots of people are on the Internet and it gives them an easy opportunity to help out.
OFFICER COLBERT
In politics nothing is contemptible.
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
Finality is not the language of politics.
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
Let it alone. Let it pass by. [Lat., Laissez faire, laissez passer.]
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers wi...
J. B. COLBERT
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers ...
J. B. COLBERT
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of fe...
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least his...
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
It is simply, and solely, the abundance of money within a state [which] makes the difference in its ...
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
The fact is, people who can't kill, will always be subject to those who can.
SGT. BRAD 'ICEMAN' COLBERT
The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.
STEPHEN B. STEPHEN LEACOCK
Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imaginat...
STEPHEN COVEY
Demons manifest themselves in people in different ways. For instance, out of nowhere, somebody can b...
STEPHEN BALDWIN
I was never top of the class at school, but my classmates must have seen potential in me, because my...
STEPHEN HAWKING
Instead, I have an abundance mentality: When people are genuinely happy at the successes of others, ...
STEPHEN COVEY
Sometimes earning awards doesn't matter as much as earning revenue or profit, or having a good r...
STEPHEN CHOW
I think there ought to be some serious discussion by smart people, really smart people, about whethe...
STEPHEN KING
Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we...
STEPHEN COVEY
A mission statement is not something you write overnight... But fundamentally, your mission statemen...
STEPHEN COVEY
Listen with your eyes for feelings.
STEPHEN COVEY
We are in danger of destroying ourselves by our greed and stupidity. We cannot remain looking inward...
STEPHEN HAWKING
Fiction is the truth inside the lie.
STEPHEN KING
And as a writer, one of the things that I've always been interested in doing is actually invadin...
STEPHEN KING
Each life makes its own immitation of immortality.
STEPHEN KING
I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find th...
STEPHEN KING
You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long a...
STEPHEN KING
When asked, 'How do you write?' I invariably answer, 'one word at a time.'
STEPHEN KING
The place where you made your stand never mattered. Only that you were there... and still on your fe...
STEPHEN KING
Let's face it. No kid in high school feels as though they fit in.
STEPHEN KING
We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.
STEPHEN KING
People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small ...
STEPHEN KING
Synergy is better than my way or your way. It's our way.
STEPHEN COVEY
Stop setting goals. Goals are pure fantasy unless you have a specific plan to achieve them.
STEPHEN COVEY
Your most important work is always ahead of you, never behind you.
STEPHEN COVEY
Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.
STEPHEN COVEY
Our population and our use of the finite resources of planet Earth are growing exponentially, along ...
STEPHEN HAWKING
Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs.
STEPHEN COVEY
The director of 'Independence Day,' 'Godzilla' and 'The Patriot' has certain...
STEPHEN HUNTER
Alliances and partnerships produce stability when they reflect realities and interests.
STEPHEN KINZER