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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.


Dave Barry

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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BERRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY Dave Barry Turns 50
DAVE BARRY Barry Bonds was still young when his father's fall began. Although Bobby still continued to put ...
DAVID GRANN I re-invented my image so many times that I'm in denial that I was originally an overweight Kore...
DAVID BOWIE How to be wealthy;Birth an idea & then take it to the market place & believe that the market place w...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) You never make fun of anybody with a club foot or a withered arm, but it's open season on anybod...
JOE BIDEN There's even a couple of players from the 1950 Lou Ball (clothing store) junior B team. We hoping to...
BRUCE HUFF Anyone who was tempted to draw comparisons between my father's 'Dave Robicheaux' series ...
ALAFAIR BURKE It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who care...
PENN JILLETTE [Dave Barry, who wrote jokes for Martin's Oscar-hosting gig two years ago, mentioned that he perform...
DAVE BARRY As awkward as it sounds. I'm not Shane Larkin, Barry Larkin's son, anymore. It's Barry L...
SHANE LARKIN Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it
SARA SHEPARD It's not just being overweight that's dangerous. Stress is dangerous.
CARNIE WILSON I don't know anybody who didn't love Dave Brown. He was a special guy: a special player and a specia...
GARY WRIGHT The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m...
ANDREW TO Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt...
ANDREW TO Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank...
ANDREW TO The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ...
ANDREW TO Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate...
ANDREW TO We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ...
ANDREW TO Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices.
ANDREW TO I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag...
ANDREW TO We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future.
ANDREW TO I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea...
ANDREW TO One major teaching of the Protestants that we the Protestants of today must go back to is the fact t...
SUNDAY ADELAJA As an adult, it's a huge shock to be orphaned; as a child it's just hideous, ghastly.
KRISTIN SCOTT THOMAS A duck's nest was found today near the trail on the dry open prairie with as far as could be see...
GEORGE MERCER DAWSON Tiny Tim? Anyone could sing like that. It's atrocious. It's hideous, really.
MAURICE GIBB People who want to live in an upscale golf community today are looking for more than great golf.
MATT SLOAN Giving back is the right thing to do, whether it's donating clothing or even just a smile to som...
BECKY G Any of the social changes in American history are because people thought there was injustice. We hav...
CHARLES KOCH Does anyone remember who shot Kubrick's movies? Do you remember who shot David Lean's movies...
MICHAEL CIMINO I'm a mentor to anybody who's interested.
CLINT EASTWOOD The real differences around the world today are not between Jews and Arabs; Protestants and Catholic...
BILL CLINTON There's something about being at the tournaments that you don't really get on TV, although g...
BILL PAXTON In golf, it's almost impossible to be perfect on each shot; that's the fun and challenge of ...
YANI TSENG Facebook was not originally created to be a company. It was built to accomplish a social mission - t...
MARK ZUCKERBERG Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Using assistive technology with your child prevents your child from missing out on content solely be...
SANDRA K. COOK It was Barry Diller's idea to start 'The Daily Beast,' and he has turned out to be the b...
TINA BROWN Sports formed me. I was always decently skilled but lacked size, so I had to resort to using my skil...
ZACH JOHNSON Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ...
FEREIDOON YAZDI We only got clothing once a year, like, right before school began. It's like, that's when yo...
BRUCE ERIC KAPLAN You were lying to Dave because you wanted to keep the lines of communication open? Dave had never re...
KATHARINE LIELL I hate overweight, because it implies that there's a weight standard I should be adhering to.
CAMRYN MANHEIM I'd be hard-pressed to think of anybody who's made me laugh, who's funny, but who's ...
DYLAN MORAN Golf has an ambivalent relationship with the environment. On one hand, it's a great preserver of...
THOMAS FRIEDMAN To feel today what one felt yesterday isn't to feel - it's to remember today what was felt y...
FERNANDO PESSOA My fans kept asking where they could get clothes like Destiny's Child's, so it was only natu...
BEYONCE KNOWLES She loved him, even though it was so hard to love anybody else after loving my dad. I think I knew t...
MARGARET MCMULLAN I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.
RICKY GERVAIS There's nobody who loves being around actors working more than David Mamet, especially actors br...
CLARK GREGG It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON There was no match for Barry White. His music is just going to live forever. It's not limited to...
DON CORNELIUS Although Dave was widely popular, he was never very comfortable as a celebrity. He kept reminding us...
JACK SCHUESSLER I don't want to intimidate people. There's nothing bullyish about me, you know. If there'...
DAVE BAUTISTA I'm not too secure about my looks. They can always change. I was heavy and overweight as a teena...
LORENZO LAMAS Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.
Dave B...
ARTHUR C. CLARKE I was dyslexic before anybody knew what dyslexia was. I was called 'slow'. It's an awful...
ROBERT BENTON People who think it doesn't matter who owns our auto industry are flat wrong.
ROBERT LUTZ Anybody can be going from being broke to being wealthy, as I did.
JON LOVITZ I eat many different ice creams. I'm not an ice cream snob, although I do think Ben & Jerry&...
JERRY GREENFIELD I think it?s a very good idea. If it can work, Dave?s the person who can make it (happen).
DICK HANDBURY If you didn't go out every time it was raining, you wouldn't get anything done. So it's ...
BRADLEY WIGGINS It was Gloria who was originally approached to appear on the show and she asked me to partner her.
FREDERICK FORSYTH I've worked with producers who have told me to lose weight, and I'm not overweight, but they...
ANDIE MACDOWELL Obviously it's my second senior event, and I'm tired obviously coming back from the British ...
GREG NORMAN Even as a kid, I wore J.C. Penney plain-pocket jeans because they were plain pockets. I didn't w...
MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY The Andersen Worldwide counterclaim is as illogical today as when it was originally filed 19 months ...
ROXANNE TAYLOR Pretty much anybody who's ever worked can relate to our show.
RAINN WILSON Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Anybody who has been discriminated against, who comes from a group that's been discriminated aga...
RUTH BADER GINSBURG If I was the Jackie Robinson of golf, I sure didn't do a very good job of it. Jackie was followe...
CHARLIE SIFFORD Sitting on the airplane seat today, I was thinking - I have been in different cities every week. Mos...
YANI TSENG I treat clothing or a piece of jewelry like it was a piece of art, even though people who collect cl...
DAPHNE GUINNESS None of this was written to hurt anybody's feelings.
RIC FLAIR It's dangerous to be anybody popular.
YOUNG THUG Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?
BEN HOGAN When I did 'Cyrano' for Roundabout, I was originally supposed to direct and play the title r...
DOUGLAS HODGE It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON It's time for Haitians to have access to health care. It's time to open our borders to the H...
MICHEL MARTELLY Although it is taking longer than originally anticipated to obtain the regulatory clearances, I am c...
DEREK PANNELL Anybody who has traveled with a significant other before knows it's tough.
BURNIE BURNS 'Human' was controversial within The Killers way before it was controversial to the rest of ...
BRANDON FLOWERS People ask me who he reminds me of. The way he's playing, I'd say he doesn't remind me o...
DAN FOUTS I did Phone Booth, and that was shot very, very quickly, but that was Joel Schumacher, who's sho...
KATIE HOLMES I was keen to stage 'Faust,' although I find Goethe's 'Faust' indigestible.
SIMON MCBURNEY We read to know we're not alone.
WILLIAM NICHOLSON Love never dies.
JAMES PATTERSON In the beginning the Universe was created.
This had made many people very angry and has been wi...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The temperature was hot, the golf was hot, everything was hot today.
MARC CAYEUX It's hard not to play golf that's up to Jack Nicklaus standards when you are Jack Nicklaus.
JACK NICKLAUS It certainly was difficult to sell NAFTA because it's always difficult to sell open markets.
LAWRENCE SUMMERS I never thought that buying supplements and vitamins, it was going to hurt anybody's feelings.
DAVID ORTIZ It's a magpie aesthetic: If something is hideous, that's interesting. It's kind of the s...
MARC JACOBS I play golf because it's fun.
BUBBA WATSON Unseasonal clothing actually only stands out when it's visibly uncomfortable.
RUSSELL SMITH

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DAVE BARRY What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge ham...
DAVE BARRY I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
DAVE BARRY Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuc...
DAVE BARRY Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger...
DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable ent...
DAVE BARRY Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant d...
DAVE BARRY I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks sh...
DAVE BARRY Puns are little 'plays on words' that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look...
DAVE BARRY There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his ...
DAVE BARRY The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winte...
DAVE BARRY It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
DAVE BARRY