FastSaying

After graduation, I was floundering in L.A., doing stand-up comedy and working in a shoe store in the Valley.


Kevin Spacey

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I thought I was going to be like Kevin Spacey in college.
BILLY EICHNER She was intimidating and all I could do was sit back on the couch as she paced back and forth, slowl...
IN THE MAKING When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy...
MICHAEL KEATON My father was placid and easygoing. He owned a small shoe store where I helped out on Saturdays. I t...
ALAN W. LIVINGSTON Other than friends and family, my favorite things are New York and stand-up. I love doing comedy in ...
AZIZ ANSARI After doing comedy for a while and knowing how hard it is to do physical comedy right, I learned how...
CARLY CRAIG I don't really write with living actors in mind. I guess I write for dead actors. I'll think...
BRIAN HELGELAND I imagine him working in a women's shoe store. Like, 'Oh, I have a pair of shoes for you. Stay there...
SHARON CAMBRIDGE I'm in a sketch comedy group in school and I also do stand-up.
JACK QUAID My first time on TV doing stand-up, I actually did this show in Holland called 'The Comedy Facto...
HANNIBAL BURESS We had a teacher in college tell us, if you're gonna open a shoe store, open a shoe store next to an...
DAVE WATTS Now is the only time we have, and the only time that we have any control over.
RICHARD CARLSON I have done a sketch show almost every year since I started in 1975. I have also had a go several ti...
LENNY HENRY You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace."
I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl...
TAMMARA WEBBER The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS I've told you I don't live and die by the polls. Thus, I will refrain from pointing out that we're n...
, IN THE NEW REPUBLIC If I provide for this life and turn away from the Lord, I am wise for a moment, but lost forever.
FRANCINE RIVERS The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS When I was quite young, she was working in a hardware store, so I grew up knowing about hardware.
ELIZABETH MOON The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I've been doing stand-up just about every night since I started in 1989. It's my home base. ...
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER Imagine life as a game, a game that is filled with obstacles and hazards to overcome but sometimes y...
GARY F EVANS... One's ideas must be as broad as Nature if they are to interpret Nature
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE In the beginning, there was nothing and from nothing came our species then behold the dawn of music....
GARY F EVANS... Now is the only time we have, and the only time we have any control over.
RICHARD CARLSON I would love to work with someone like Kevin Spacey as he could pass on what I need to learn.
RACHEL STEVENS I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Fr...
DANA CARVEY You should always do more of what you believe is right, even if you are trembling inside.
WESAM FAWZI David had said something about her 'distinctive features'. Was he going to make her look ethnic? Jad...
FRANCINE PASCAL I was very lucky when I started doing comedy because I hadn't seen much stand-up. I just got up ...
NATASHA LEGGERO This instant is the only time there is.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES I am never upset for the reason I think.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES Perception is a mirror not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES Teach only love for that is what you are.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES Only my condemnation injures me.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES Only your mind can produce fear.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES We fall back into the past, we jump ahead into the future, and in this we lose our entire lives.
THICH NHAT HANH Doing comedy for film is always a challenge because you are in the hands of the editor after the fac...
TIM ROTH They're all regulars at the world famous Comedy Store in Los Angeles, ... They've been on 'The Tonig...
VINCE VAUGHN In certain circumstances, basically shit ones, it’s fight or flight. With Tommy it’s always frig...
TERRY WEIBLE MURPHY Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?” “I’m nothing special. I’m drowning,” I...
IF I WAKE I believe in working with the hearts of people, and not locking them up.
PAT ROBERTSON I began by saying that our history will be what we make it. If we go on as we are, then history will...
EDWARD R. MURROW I started doing stand-up in college.
CARLOS ALAZRAQUI When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy atta...
SAM KINISON It was frustrating to still be in the dark about something and be given only so little light.
LAUREN LOLA A lot of stand-up comedy is embarrassing: too many idiots doing it in orange neckties against brick ...
TRACEY ULLMAN When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
DANE COOK I have always wished the present to resemble memory: because the present can be flat at times, and b...
LYDIA MILLET I eventually became an actor, starting with doing stand-up comedy in New York and then theater where...
NOLAN NORTH Be lost. Give up. Give In. in the end It would be better to surrender before you begin. be lost. Be ...
VICTORIA SCHWAB Stand-up is kind of like my home base, and doing stand-up in New York is what I like doing most.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER That meant I could go home at night, ... Doing stand-up comedy, you're on the road an awful lot.
BOB NEWHART Age mellows some people; others it makes rotten. -Heard in Arkansas.
HEARD IN ARKANSAS AFFORDABLE HOUSING: defined in such a way that WE ALL AGREE upon it's shared relevance and WHY WE WI...
HOMELESS IN FAIRFAX I relieve and release your hurt that you may be set free.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND What if I should fall right through the center of the earth... oh, and come out the other side, wher...
ALICE IN WONDERLAND People who suffer from migraine with aura can sometimes experience a phenomenon called the
ALICE IN WONDERLAND Mad Hatter: No wonder you're late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND I don't care much where ...
ALICE IN WONDERLAND Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND We're all mad here.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND Alice: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad? Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll te...
ALICE IN WONDERLAND Walter: Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it.
SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE Alice falls down the rabbit hole and her dress poofs up like a parachute] Alice: Well, after this I ...
ALICE IN WONDERLAND I've probably gone as far as I can with that particular genre,
SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE Sometimes, I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because ever...
ALICE IN WONDERLAND Lawyers have an old saying: If the facts are on your side, pound the facts. If the law is on your si...
- LAWYERS (IN GENERAL...) Spin City.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND You mean you ca'n't take *less*. It's very easy to take *more* than nothing.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND Gosh, you were so good. Maybe Bill (Clinton) could take a couple of days off, and you could fill in ...
SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE I don't even know him...I'm harvesting all these fantasies about some man I've never even met...who ...
SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE Sam Baldwin: [looking at a photograph] She looks like my third grade teacher, and I hated my third g...
SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE [Montana wheat variety yield increases give Montana farmers more wheat to sell, but the situation re...
ALICE IN WONDERLAND Definitions vary,In Government it depends on which agency you go to. They all get to re-invent their...
HOMELESS IN FAIRFAX A girl as small as a violet, a girl who moves like a flower petal – is pulling me toward her with ...
KIM IN YOOK I never wanted to be a model. I never wanted to be a serious actress. I started off doing comedy. I ...
AMANDA BYNES Now i know what it feels like being Ryan Bingham
ARIEL SERAPHINO We each have a special something we can get only at a special time of our life. like a small flame. ...
HARUKI MURAKAMI Allie, what do the Stars tell me to do? You know I don't understand the scientific part.
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN The capacity of humans to believe in what seems to me highly improbable- from table tapping to the s...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN It is strange being in a crowd where no one knows your face or cares for your purpose. In Lykos, I w...
PIERCE BROWN I really like the Doors. I like Kevin Spacey, Bruce Springsteen, Will Farrell, Reggie Watts, Tina Tu...
FLULA BORG I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I d...
DAVE ATTELL Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.
DWAYNE JOHNSON I love 'Donnie Brasco' and 'Days of Thunder,' so after I did 'The Skulls,' I...
PAUL WALKER But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an ...
DEMETRI MARTIN No, of course not. But surely you know your affair couldn't go on forever."
"Forever has no mea...
ELLEN HOPKINS A perfectly decent fellow may be driven by circumstances to commit a crime and if he's found out he'...
W.SOMERSET MAUGHAM Let me repeat. I have not read all the work of this present generation of writing. I have not had ti...
WILLIAM FAULKNER I hate saying corny things like "traveling incognito." But when I'm with somebody that's corny, I al...
J.D. SALINGER “Love is not to be discovered but felt.It is brewing in air across universe.One needs only open ey...
ANUJ SOMANY I promise myself that I will enjoy every minute of the day that is given me to live.
THICH NHAT HANH You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is...now.
JAY ASHER Life is a journey, not a destination.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON

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KEVIN SPACEY As a producer or financier, you are going to go where you get the best bang for your buck.
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KEVIN SPACEY The only real experiences I've had with therapists were the ones who were working with me and my...
KEVIN SPACEY It's a great thriller or mystery, but on another level it's a film about the fact that, if y...
KEVIN SPACEY I absolutely love spending time with my family.
KEVIN ALEJANDRO From there, I tried out for a community theatre play, joined an improv group... it all started openi...
KEVIN JAMES My favorite movie of all time is 'Rocky.'
KEVIN JAMES Every time I do a movie where it gets physical, I say never again.
KEVIN JAMES I really wasn't a class clown.
KEVIN JAMES I've always had something in my heart where I root for guys who struggle with women.
KEVIN JAMES Back in '93 I saw my first UFC fight and just became enamored by it then.
KEVIN JAMES Once a year my back will go out and it'll be... it's like a sciatic thing and it's the s...
KEVIN JAMES I try to connect with the everyday, every guy.
KEVIN JAMES You think school ends when it ends, but it doesn't.
KEVIN JAMES It's always cool to meet people who can do things that you have no capacity to do.
KEVIN JAMES I want to do movies that I'm proud of where my kids, at some point, can see and I can feel comfo...
KEVIN JAMES I don't want to be known as this goody-two-shoes who can only do comedies where puppies are lick...
KEVIN JAMES Teachers have a chance to mold someone, inspire them. I hope all teachers realize that.
KEVIN JAMES I've always been the guy who doesn't necessarily get it with women. A woman would have to sa...
KEVIN JAMES Now I'm starting to jog. But every time I do jog I have 9-1 pressed into my phone, with the next...
KEVIN JAMES I took a public speaking class in college and managed to make the class laugh a little bit.
KEVIN JAMES I never played a musical instrument growing up but I knew kids who did and took it very seriously.
KEVIN JAMES A song can take you to a special time in your life.
KEVIN JAMES If I do a movie where I have to have a son and it's a chubby kid, my mother is always like, '...
KEVIN JAMES I could never be James Bond.
KEVIN JAMES I just want to put some positive stuff out there. If it works, great. If it doesn't, no problem.
KEVIN JAMES I am who I am. That's why my friends and peers respect and appreciate me. I don't change or ...
KEVIN HART Being a celebrity is probably the closest to being a beautiful woman as you can get.
KEVIN COSTNER I don't have the option of getting fat. I like to try as much of our products as I can. Our samp...
KEVIN PLANK Everyone is handed adversity in life. No one's journey is easy. It's how they handle it that...
KEVIN CONROY True wealth is not of the pocket, but of the heart and of the mind.
KEVIN GATES Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man. So many doors can be opened up from stand-up...
KEVIN HART Know everything about the companies and people you are going to be negotiating with. Insist on getti...
KEVIN O'LEARY Too often, politics is like bad theater. The mass media simplifies stories and personalities into th...
KEVIN HASSETT I love that I can tell the truth and have people laugh at it.
KEVIN HART I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.
KEVIN HART I like playing basketball and going to the gym. I don't box, but I'll ride my bike and go jo...
KEVIN HART I love making people laugh. And I love laughing.
KEVIN HART I took my daughter to the father-daughter dance, and I cried like a little baby.
KEVIN HART A reputation as a hard worker is a good reputation to have.
KEVIN HART Being humble matters.
KEVIN HART You get one life. I'm going to embrace mine.
KEVIN HART My success comes in making fun of whatever you're doing. That's my way.
KEVIN HART Everybody that's successful lays a blueprint out.
KEVIN HART People who eat with their mouth open should be punched in the face.
KEVIN HART I didn't work hard to sit down and not work.
KEVIN HART I stayed true to my dreams and, eventually, they came true.
KEVIN HART It's a well-known fact that tall people are evil.
KEVIN HART My main goal is to be a self-made man and have control over what's mine.
KEVIN HART I don't care how busy I am - I will always make time for what's most important to me.
KEVIN HART No matter what, people grow. If you chose not to grow, you're staying in a small box with a smal...
KEVIN HART I really don't pay attention to the outside world when I'm incarcerated, because being in pr...
KEVIN GATES I adapt and I adjust to whatever environment I'm in.
KEVIN GATES I don't sleep much. I don't sleep much - I work, I work, I work.
KEVIN GATES Marriage is the most wonderful thing ever.
KEVIN GATES I always knew who I was, and I always ran from my true purpose... I know what my job is. And I alway...
KEVIN GATES I like Peter Tosh, Bob Marley of course. All of Capleton, Sizzla, Frisco Kid, Buju Banton.
KEVIN GATES What I see, what I went through, what a friend of mine may have went through, whatever - I rap about...
KEVIN GATES I don't want no handouts. I want to get it out the mud.
KEVIN GATES I put my flaws on front street. So the world accepted my flaws, so I don't have any flaws.
KEVIN GATES Sometimes I feel like being an intellectual. Sometimes I like to just be aggressive and all the way ...
KEVIN GATES The more I grow in popularity, the lonelier it gets. Because you don't really know me. You just ...
KEVIN GATES I don't believe in conspiracy theories. I'm just a cold-blooded investigator.
KEVIN GATES I look at other people's lives, and some people feel like they're too old to play with toys....
KEVIN GATES I'm super serious about music. That's, like, the only thing I'm serious about.
KEVIN GATES I used to really love Fiend, but he stopped. He just stopped. Every time he had a project, every pro...
KEVIN GATES Life is about conduct and how we conduct ourselves. But two wrongs never make a right.
KEVIN GATES I never go into a situation with any type of expectations.
KEVIN GATES I suffer from deep depression, so my only release is music.
KEVIN GATES I don't let the left hand know what the right hand is doing.
KEVIN GATES I have trouble with letting go. That's my problem.
KEVIN GATES When you stand for something, you've got to stand for it all the way, not half way.
KEVIN GATES The day you stop doing the small things is the day you think you're above everybody else.
KEVIN HART I'm not the type of person to give up just because something gets rough. That's a coward. Th...
KEVIN GARNETT If you want a friend, buy a dog.
KEVIN O'LEARY The Constitution's Preamble, its renowned introductory passage, was written by a man with a peg-...
KEVIN BLEYER Get up, groan, write a bit, moan, eat breakfast, write some more, cycle my bike through the Sligo hi...
KEVIN BARRY When somebody asks for a favor involving information, if you don't know him or can't verify ...
KEVIN MITNICK In my divorce, I stood up and said to my ex-wife, 'Hey, I messed up. This had nothing to do with...
KEVIN HART The good thing about having chemistry is, when you get to the improv section of a scene, you've ...
KEVIN HART My worst fashion faux pas: probably orange shoes with white pants. I thought I looked spectacular.
KEVIN O'LEARY Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
KEVIN JAMES Penetrating a company's security often starts with the bad guy obtaining some piece of informati...
KEVIN MITNICK Walking is my main method of relaxation. I don't go over my lines or try to solve the world'...
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KEVIN WILLIAMSON I'm an introvert somewhat. There could be a room full of people, I'll go stand in the corner...
KEVIN GATES I haven't lived a perfect life. I have regrets. But that's from a lifetime of taking chances...
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KEVIN O'LEARY Money is my military, each dollar a soldier. I never send my money into battle unprepared and undefe...
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KEVIN FEIGE To research my book 'Me the People' - in which I have rewritten the entire Constitution of t...
KEVIN BLEYER Black holes destroy any objects that happen to fall victim to their gravitational pull.
KEVIN MCCARTHY When you're travelling, your day is jam-packed. I just don't have time to whip out a PC all ...
KEVIN O'LEARY You can have 10 bucks to 10 million bucks and if you got a crew, imagination and a lot of people wil...
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KEVIN PLANK I haven't tried to buffer myself. I like rolling the dice.
KEVIN COSTNER I would rather eat broken glass and drink iodine than do the dishes.
KEVIN CANTY I used to go to the Hollywood YMCA when I first came here, and I was standing in front of the mirror...
KEVIN NEALON A wide variety of devices beyond personal computers are arriving, many of which will be used to brow...
KEVIN LYNCH When you have box-office results, Hollywood treats you different. Hollywood stands up. Once you get ...
KEVIN HART I think the message has already been sent to Hollywood, which is that this kid's a hard worker, ...
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KEVIN HART Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries.
KEVIN KEEGAN 'X-Men 1' - I did a cameo.
KEVIN FEIGE My acting coach I've got here, Richard Lawson, he's been doing good, just telling me to calm...
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KEVIN PIETERSEN I think a book is your calling card, your business card.
KEVIN O'LEARY Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.
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KEVIN MCCARTHY I started my first business when I was 19. I learned a valuable lesson as a small business owner. Yo...
KEVIN MCCARTHY There's nothing you can do about busted ribs. You just have to wait for them to pop back into pl...
KEVIN MCCLOUD I would also would have liked the part of the Bus Driver.
KEVIN MCDONALD Sports exact too harsh a toll on our beautiful women. Like engendered species, they should be protec...
KEVIN BLEYER I think a cyber-terrorism attack is overblown, though the threat exists. I think al Qaeda and other ...
KEVIN MITNICK You have to persevere. You have to do it. I have insecurities. But whatever I'm insecure about I don...
KEVIN SORBO All they need to do is to set up some website somewhere selling some bogus product at twenty percent...
KEVIN MITNICK I've always been into bodybuilding and keeping in shape, and I just challenge myself to see if I...
KEVIN NASH It was called the Backstreet Market, and it was just like a local hangout. That was where the kids w...
KEVIN RICHARDSON I don't want to be characterized as the big booster guy.
KEVIN PLANK I still remember going to a smart restaurant in Los Angeles, and the maitre d' knew my name and ...
KEVIN WHATELY But in fact, when you try to model that on a computer you find that because of the very structure of...
KEVIN KELLY A city where everyone seemed to live in a bungalow on a broad avenue lined with palm, pepper or euca...
KEVIN STARR My favorite personal hockey moment was probably when Mike Bossy scored fifty goals in fifty games. H...
KEVIN CONNOLLY Any self-respecting entrepreneur has borrowed money from their mother at some point.
KEVIN PLANK But in a turbulent environment the change is so widespread that it just routes around any kind of ce...
KEVIN KELLY