A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

He who has never hoped can never despair

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

I’m an atheist and I thank God for it.