A child of one can be taught not to do certain things such as touch a hot stove, turn on the gas, pull lamps off their tables by their cords, or wake mommy before noon

What a pathetic turn, ... Somebody ought to take that dress away from her. It's got Ronald McDonald's name on it.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

How could she not be happy? She was tall, thin, gorgeous and rich, rich, rich, with a husband who didn't want to sleep with her, two normal children and she had a crown.

There are certain authors that do not turn students on; it is the truth. Homer happens to be one of them.