You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.

I care. They bother me. And that's why I'm stupid. That makes me exponentially more stupid than stupid. I'm stupid to the power of stupid.

Wait, I got it. We, uh, won the battle and lost the war, or was it the other way around? 'Cause around here, it's hard to tell sometimes.

Well? Is it true? Did she?"
"Did she what?"
"You know. Fall outta the crazy tree and hit every branch on the way down?

Are you insinuatin' that my daughter is a liar?"
"Oh, no, not at all. I'm saying your daughter is a liar. Surely you can appreciate the difference.

The guy thought he was Mick Jagger. I felt bad for him.