Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.' 'Why not?' 'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.
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DOUGLAS ADAMS He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction i... DOUGLAS ADAMS Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairi... DOUGLAS ADAMS To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that ... DOUGLAS ADAMS We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore ... DOUGLAS ADAMS In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely ... DOUGLAS ADAMS A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underes... DOUGLAS ADAMS He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot. DOUGLAS ADAMS It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask ... 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DOUGLAS ADAMS High on a rocky promontory sat an Electric Monk on a bored horse. DOUGLAS ADAMS The seat received him in a loose and distant kind of way, like an aunt who disapproves of the last f... DOUGLAS ADAMS The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on... DOUGLAS ADAMS Believe me, it is a great deal better to find cast-iron proof that you're innocent than to languish ... DOUGLAS ADAMS She tried to worry that something terrible had happened to him, but didn't believe it for a moment. ... DOUGLAS ADAMS Gordon Way's astonishment at being suddenly shot dead was nothing compared to his astonishment at wh... DOUGLAS ADAMS Yes it is,' said the Professor. 'Wait—' he motioned to Richard, who was about to go out again and ... DOUGLAS ADAMS The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis. DOUGLAS ADAMS What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain i... 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DOUGLAS ADAMS The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind... DOUGLAS ADAMS The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42! DOUGLAS ADAMS The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate. DOUGLAS ADAMS Wandering around the web is like living in a world in which every doorway is actually one of those s... DOUGLAS ADAMS Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you ... DOUGLAS ADAMS I taught myself to play the guitar by listening to Paul Simon records, working it out note by note. ... DOUGLAS ADAMS I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. DOUGLAS ADAMS Life? Don't talk to me about life! DOUGLAS ADAMS The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angr... DOUGLAS ADAMS The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind. DOUGLAS ADAMS The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss DOUGLAS ADAMS Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Az... DOUGLAS ADAMS Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now? DOUGLAS ADAMS In fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dolphins, and they spent a lo... DOUGLAS ADAMS Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy... DOUGLAS ADAMS The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a dou... DOUGLAS ADAMS O Deep Thought computer," he said, "the task we have designed you to perform is this. We want you to... DOUGLAS ADAMS Man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much...... DOUGLAS ADAMS The Answer to the Great Question Of.....Life, the Universe and Everything.....(is) Forty-two. DOUGLAS ADAMS The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks. DOUGLAS ADAMS One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit o... DOUGLAS ADAMS Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, though... DOUGLAS ADAMS The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong i... DOUGLAS ADAMS Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of. DOUGLAS ADAMS Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys ... DOUGLAS ADAMS The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sen... DOUGLAS ADAMS Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have... DOUGLAS ADAMS It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear. DOUGLAS ADAMS In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and... DOUGLAS ADAMS Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. DOUGLAS ADAMS He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was... DOUGLAS ADAMS Anything that is in the world when youre born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of... DOUGLAS ADAMS Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may... DOUGLAS ADAMS The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existenc... DOUGLAS ADAMS The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola DOUGLAS ADAMS Even traveling despondently is better than arriving here. DOUGLAS ADAMS The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a... DOUGLAS ADAMS My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre,' h... DOUGLAS ADAMS Same as you, Arthur. I hitched a ride. After all, with a degree in maths and another in astrophysics... DOUGLAS ADAMS He actually caught himself saying things like "Yippee," as he pranced ridiculously round the house. DOUGLAS ADAMS