You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.

A guy that's really serious about you, he's gotta be talking to you, he's gotta want to have one-on-one, in-your-face interaction. That's how we are.

The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I walked up and said, 'Ma'am, I'm going to marry you one day.' And 15 years later, I did.

The provision of a smart phone in no way requires users to either view or respond to business related emails or calls out of office hours,

Officiating is trying to do your absolute best with what you've got.

Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.