You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!

Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home--but not for housing. They are strong for labor--but they are stronger for restricting labor's rights. They favor minimum wage--the smaller the minimum wage the better. They endorse educational opportunity for all--but they won't spend money for teachers or for schools. They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine--for people who can afford them. They consider electrical power a great blessing--but only when the private power companies get their rake-off. They think American standard of living is a fine thing--so long as it doesn't spread to all the people. And they admire of Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it.

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

It's my job as best friend to make sure he's not a serial killer. Or an English major, not sure which one's worse.