You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves.

The internal combustion engine, one of the greatest technological advancements in history, has an unfortunate downside, namely air pollution so thick that, very soon, sixty-four packs of crayons will include the color Sky Brown

I should mention, by the way, that LVR stands for Luminal Velocity Regulator. I suppose it could also stand for Large Venezeulan Rats, but in this case it does not.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him participate in synchronized diving.

Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not.

I seem to be allergic to whatever that terrible smell is," said Gateman when the urge to sneeze had finally subsided.
"What terrible smell?"
"The air," said Gateman. "It smells...different."
"That's called oxygen," said Professor Boxley. "Freh air. No cars, no buses, no factories; just pure, clean oxygen.