You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi!

I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady... take your purse.'

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.