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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'


Tommy Cooper

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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the wind...
TOMMY COOPER You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the wind...
TOMMY COOPER You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the wind...
TIM VINE You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the wind...
TIM VINE Watching yourself on screen is always a little weird, but I didn't cringe when I saw myself on &...
OONA CHAPLIN There's a song called 'My Faith' that's kind of my spiritual song on my record. It&#...
BRANTLEY GILBERT I'm highly distractable, and I have too many things on my mind very often. When I'm driving ...
DAN HILL People think that if you've written a book and somebody's given you a pat on the back then, ...
BARRY LOPEZ Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill
ROLAND SMITH I tell people I'm on a diet. If somebody sees me with a muffin, they'll think I'm off my...
STEPHEN FURST I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ...
MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX I would rather do a play because it's instantaneous. You go on the stage, and you know whether i...
CHARLES DURNING My mum said to me once years ago, which really spurred me on, 'You're the funniest person I ...
MIRANDA HART At the weekend, one of the paparazzi left their lunch box filled with half-eaten pasta salad on my d...
KATHERINE JENKINS Somebody rang me up the other day and said 'Yellow' was on a karaoke machine. That made me g...
CHRIS MARTIN It's sad when you see most of your friends in the business gone, like Tommy Cooper, Frankie Howa...
BRUCE FORSYTH I got a note from my father, who said that Success is wonderful, if you don't inhale. That was h...
SAM WATERSTON I know people have tattooed my 'Sons of Anarchy' photos, they've painted them, on their ...
KIM COATES I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and y...
BILLY CONNOLLY It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON I think I have a habit of, in my head, taking notes on whatever, you know, whether they're verba...
ROZ CHAST My fans mean everything to me - especially the sisters! When you're on 'The View' or you...
SHERRI SHEPHERD I didn't understand key signatures or anything, you know. I'd say silly things at the top of...
QUINCY JONES The first thing I said if I sat on the Iron Throne would probably be, 'Ouch!' It's actua...
EUGENE SIMON In California, the lines on the road are just a suggestion. They're in the left lane with the le...
ADAM FERRARA I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip poppe...
DEMETRI MARTIN I saw them the day they were putting the poles in and then it was just left. It's a mystery because ...
ATHENA HREVATIS Today they're praising you sky high, place you on a pedestal and tomorrow they don't want to...
MARK MCGRATH Chucks are cooler when they're dirty. I actually stepped on somebody's the other day because...
AJ LEE People who drive slow in the left lane on the highway! Are you kidding me? Don't you see everybo...
ROB RIGGLE It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back togethe...
JAY LENO Network's rating dependent. A show might not stick. A lot's timing. Like, my Bradley Cooper ...
DARREN STAR They left me. My parents actually left me! IN FRANCE!
STEPHANIE PERKINS If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park'...
TREY PARKER Sam Cooke had a huge influence on me. He left the gospel field at one point and went into the secula...
ARETHA FRANKLIN The big stars I felt a kinship with were never the romantic leads. It wasn't Steve McQueen or Ro...
ALFRED MOLINA I actually love working with accents. I don't know, something about it unlocks something in me. ...
KEVIN MCKIDD I wouldn't know how to handle serenity if somebody handed it to me on a plate.
DUSTY SPRINGFIELD My father left... but I tell my mom - and I told my mom this when I was a kid - I said, 'You kno...
J. R. MARTINEZ I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little f...
MATT GROENING 'Harat' is actually - it's a Lebanese dialect word. It comes from 'the mapmaker,'...
RABIH ALAMEDDINE Dave Sim said in his latest thing of his, 'when you're on the right track, you'll know i...
EDDIE CAMPBELL At 13, I believed these people were my friends. They were kind. They complimented me. They wanted to...
JUSTIN BERRY When I pull my white Range Rover into disabled parking bays, the abuse that I get until I actually g...
LEE PEARSON I'm famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can't count on it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE Tommy gave me my first chance on stage. And I won't forget it.
FRANKIE VALLI Early on, when I wrote 'Little Man Tate,' I got pigeonholed. Somebody said to me, 'You&#...
SCOTT FRANK It's the same old story you've heard a thousand times. Somebody's trust gets broken. Som...
TRAVIS TRITT I just got on Twitter because there was some MTV film blog that quoted me on something really innocu...
ANNA KENDRICK If you watch a fly on, say, a coffee table, you'll see that they're rubbing their little leg...
MICHAEL DICKINSON If you don't take no chances, then you're not a performer. Performers always take chances. Y...
EVANDER HOLYFIELD I did the voice of Cyclops on 'Shrek the Third'. I don't know how I got that. They said ...
MARK VALLEY I used to get nervous, you know if my parents would come watch. And then I would get nervous if my f...
ROGER FEDERER What I have on my left calf is two skeletons; when you put them together, they form a heart, and it ...
REY MYSTERIO My inners are not organs. They're actually mechanics, so I have a hole in my back, wind me up li...
GILLIAN JACOBS The 'Road Rules' thing was just something that happened. It was never like when I was little...
THEO VON My kids have been watching a lot of 'My Little Pony,' and it's rubbing off on me.
KEVIN PLANK Although I cannot see your face
As you flip these poems awhile,
Somewhere from some far-of...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN I didn't have a particular persona. I'm not Alice Cooper, you know?
ANDREA CORR I tend to be that swimmer that doesn't look like she is trying, but is actually dying on the ins...
CATE CAMPBELL My wife will tell you it's the little things, like driving my boys to school on my days off so s...
DANIEL DAE KIM As for the stage fright, it never goes away. When I'm waiting in the wings to go on, it's ag...
BRITT EKLAND Somebody asked me - you know, how come it took you so long to win a national championship? And I sai...
JOHN WOODEN You know, my parents had a restaurant. And I left home, actually, in 1949, when I was 13 years old, ...
JACQUES PEPIN It's always a pleasure on a personal note for me to come back to Australia.
NICK CAVE I'm not devastated over a baseball game. If somebody came to me and said, 'Your wife is term...
TOM GLAVINE People recognize me, but they don't know where from. Today I was in the elevator and somebody as...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I mean, in 'Big' and 'Pleasantville,' it's a journey that the characters go on w...
GARY ROSS You always want to see how somebody is going to react when the match gets real tight. Are they drivi...
TOM LEHMAN When it came to 'Binge,' it wasn't my intention to get on a little soapbox and have a te...
TYLER OAKLEY All I know is that once you have children, you put them before anything you're feeling or going ...
JEREMY SISTO When I'm writing, I need to amplify my thoughts and feelings on just a conversation that I might...
JAMES BAY The truth is, people don't know me. When people don't know you, they're going to try to ...
TREVOR NOAH I told them I needed a sign, so Bobby and Jason actually painted a sign that said 'GO' and left it o...
LAREN POOLE I always wear my black watch on my left wrist so I know I'm on stage on time.
CONOR MAYNARD When I'm on a movie, I'm unavailable every day for a year and a half. You can't do that ...
PATTY JENKINS What it is basically, if you go to a gun show, and there's somebody out there in the parking lot...
PHIL GINGREY Every once in a while, I hear somebody call me Tracy to try to let me know that they know me, you kn...
ICE T I have done many movies that people hadn't seen. 'The Fountain,' I spent a year on that....
HUGH JACKMAN I remember the first time somebody played me Janis Joplin. My friend Donna put on Janis Joplin, and ...
SOPHIE B. HAWKINS I said to de Lord, 'I'm goin' to hold steady on to you, an' I know you'll see me...
HARRIET TUBMAN My kids - even though it's a family business - they don't even know what day or time 'Su...
MARK BURNETT There is a sign that hangs on my wall that says, 'What is it you want me to do to somebody else ...
DAVE OBEY I hid my heart under my bed because my mother said if you're not careful someday somebody's ...
SHANE KOYCZAN It's very little trouble for me to accommodate my fans, unless I'm actually taking a pee at ...
HARRISON FORD If somebody had said to me in June or July of 1987, 'We'd like you to become chairman of the...
ALAN GREENSPAN For so long, I've been a little misunderstood as a person. You know, I do have this strut about ...
CARLI LLOYD I like my stationery to be funnier, like, 'Here's my note, and it's an elephant with a l...
KATE SPADE My parents have Google Alerts on me. So they'll often times send me an e-mail and be like, '...
DANE DEHAAN My viewers actually know about my little routine for spraying perfume. I put it on my wrists and rub...
BETHANY MOTA Tucker finally parked next to me. We joined Cooper who stared at a hawk flying over the woods.
BIJOU HUNTER My message to kids who bully other kids is: You know it's wrong! What's really going on? Try...
JOE NICHOLS I have so many man crushes - 'my brother' Tom Hardy, Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper - if he...
BEN HARDY Independent films in this country are in the same position. Miramax and Fine Line are not independen...
DENNIS HOPPER I knew Quintessentially was a success when my father, who does a lot of business in Beirut, introduc...
BEN ELLIOT Everybody I meet who uses 'WhatsApp', I ask them a question: 'How did you hear about it?...
JAN KOUM I like structure - like driving: go past the school on the street, stay on the right side, no hittin...
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME

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TOMMY HILFIGER My passion for music has always inspired my designs.
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TOMMY HILFIGER We are going back to our roots by cultivating new unsigned talent who otherwise might go unnoticed.
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TOMMY LASORDA People try to say suicide is the most cowardly act a man could ever commit. I don't think that's tru...
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TOMMY WISEAU Groupies are just very enthusiastic fans, that's all.
TOMMY RAMONE They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable.
TOMMY CHONG For me, I love to dream big, and I love to find ways to be a bit of an explorer. These days, it seem...
TOMMY CALDWELL Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine w...
TOMMY DOUGLAS One of his strengths is being precise in what he's doing and any quarterback, whether you're young o...
TOMMY MADDOX a hammer and an anvil.
TOMMY FRANKS Chan Ho had a great career and was the exemplification of class, dignity and character.
TOMMY LASORDA The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career.
TOMMY CHONG I've never used one word of profanity in front of my wife, or my daughter, or my granddaughter.....
TOMMY LASORDA I don't need material things like gold and platinum records on my wall, Grammys or Hall Of Fame ...
TOMMY LEE I did the marching band all throughout junior high and high school. Music was one of my favorite thi...
TOMMY LEE One of my favorite things in the world is to be seeing two people that are really old, still holding...
TOMMY LEE I think we focused on this game more than Tuesday (a narrow 70-68 win over Avinger). We were almost ...
TOMMY BLEEKER I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn&#...
TOMMY CHONG I, for one, begin with intent. There is no question that, Saddam Hussein had intent to do harm to th...
TOMMY FRANKS It's a very sad day for people like myself who loved him to bits. The only thing was he should have ...
TOMMY DOCHERTY Personally, I am very, very sorry we have come to this. I suppose it is another sign of the times.
TOMMY DOCHERTY Football wasn't meant to be run by linesmen and air traffic control.
TOMMY DOCHERTY I've always said there's a place for the press but they haven't dug it yet.
TOMMY DOCHERTY I said to myself, where are we living? In the United States of America where you're innocent unt...
TOMMY BOND I tend to pick objectives that I feel are safe because I know that, in the moment, I always go for i...
TOMMY CALDWELL Liz did a great job pitching and she didn't give up a lot of hits. (The Hawks) just put back-to-back...
TOMMY RAMOS The first record was basically a quick, fast record. The second record, we were going for more of a ...
TOMMY RAMONE The Western world, the free world, loses what it cherishes most, and that is freedom and liberty we&...
TOMMY FRANKS [For his part, retired Gen. Tommy Franks, who has been speaking out as a Bush surrogate, has an op-e...
TOMMY FRANKS I don't know how many touchdown passes (Whitehurst) threw last year, ... But I bet you by the end of...
TOMMY BOWDEN We have access to 1.2 million doses of vaccine,
TOMMY THOMPSON You wait till you see that Dominican team. You wait till you see Puerto Rico. You wait till you see ...
TOMMY LASORDA We got the game plan in. All we are doing is polishing it and working on special teams. We had a lit...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE If I'm a voter, I throw a bumper sticker in the trash. That car, I'm doing to put on my desk.
TOMMY WEST When a song gets its legs and begins to come to me, this is the euphoric hook that keeps me wanting ...
TOMMY SHAW Ben was a little different. Sometimes you wonder about homesickness, but he's really handled it well...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE [Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville, whose team finished No. 2 in the final polls last season, says he co...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE We'll play when we get there, I guess. It's not our fault that we can't get down there. You'd love i...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE