You ignorant little slug!" the Trunchbull bellowed. "You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue!


Roald Dahl

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Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.
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A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.
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Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone.
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Weed is like a child's deformed character,the quicker you weed,the easier & faster you reform.
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You changed the subject."
"From what?"
"The empty-headed girls who think you're sexy."
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You really don't want to kiss a hamster.
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Most difficult is the labeling by other people that models are empty-headed bodies. I think if you l...
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With frightening suddenness he now began ripping the pages out of the book in handfuls and throwing ...
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You can't fix stupid.
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You can only manage to convince a person to admit to being wrong, not ignorant, arrogant, or stupid.
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They called you the Glue"
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The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
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Fear is the glue that keeps you stuck. Faith is the solvent that sets you free.
SHANNON L. ALDER
You can't take 'Seinfeld' and glue on interactivity.
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The more you offer yourself to make life better for someone, the more you empty yourself of the load...
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LOVE is the glue that holds all the pieces of me and you...
PHILIP T. M.
How clever you are, to know something of which you are ignorant.
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Jane, you ignorant slut.
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You must be in fashion is the utterance of weak headed mortals.
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More Roald Dahl

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
ROALD DAHL
The Bristol Channel was always my guide, and I was always able to draw an imaginary line from my bed...
ROALD DAHL
I do have a blurred memory of sitting on the stairs and trying over and over again to tie one of my ...
ROALD DAHL
I shot down some German planes and I got shot down myself, crashing in a burst of flames and crawlin...
ROALD DAHL
Life is more fun if you play games.
ROALD DAHL
Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.
ROALD DAHL
Don't gobblefunk around with words.
ROALD DAHL
You seemed so far away," Miss Honey whispered, awestruck.

"Oh, I was. I was flying past t...
ROALD DAHL
And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets ar...
ROALD DAHL
My father was a Norwegian who came from a small town near Oslo. He broke his arm at the elbow when h...
ROALD DAHL
I was a fighter pilot, flying Hurricanes all round the Mediterranean. I flew in the Western Desert o...
ROALD DAHL
I have a passion for teaching kids to become readers, to become comfortable with a book, not daunted...
ROALD DAHL
It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting littl...
ROALD DAHL
With frightening suddenness he now began ripping the pages out of the book in handfuls and throwing ...
ROALD DAHL
If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lo...
ROALD DAHL
An autobiography is a book a person writes about his own life and it is usually full of all sorts of...
ROALD DAHL
All through my school life I was appalled by the fact that masters and senior boys were allowed quit...
ROALD DAHL
All Norwegian children learn to swim when they are very young because if you can't swim it is di...
ROALD DAHL
The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it's a disaster is a very, very f...
ROALD DAHL
Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings yo...
ROALD DAHL
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth an...
ROALD DAHL
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can...
ROALD DAHL
Though my father was Norwegian, he always wrote his diaries in perfect English.
ROALD DAHL
'Dexter' is a very well-oiled machine; it's just a great show and great to be part of.
ROALD DAHL
Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours he has been ...
ROALD DAHL
The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting li...
ROALD DAHL
So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who ...
ROALD DAHL
We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.
ROALD DAHL
And Charlie, don't forget about what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted....
ROALD DAHL
But it is impossible to replace a person one has loved with distractions.
ROALD DAHL
A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.
ROALD DAHL
I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours,...
ROALD DAHL
I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. He taught me that if you are in...
ROALD DAHL
Sex is like nose picking. It's fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it's disgusting watchin...
ROALD DAHL
I find that the only way to make my characters really interesting to children is to exaggerate all t...
ROALD DAHL
I was glad my father was an eye-smiler. It meant he never gave me a fake smile because it's impossib...
ROALD DAHL
I go down to my little hut, where it's tight and dark and warm, and within minutes I can go back...
ROALD DAHL
If you are good life is good.
ROALD DAHL
Don’t argue, my dear child, please don’t argue!” cried Mr. Wonka. “It’s such a waste of pr...
ROALD DAHL
I shall never have a bath again," I said.
"Just dont have one too often," my grandmother said....
ROALD DAHL
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, ...
ROALD DAHL
I never get any protests from children. All you get are giggles of mirth and squirms of delight. I k...
ROALD DAHL
A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master e...
ROALD DAHL
Fiona has the same glacial beauty of an iceburg, but unlike the iceburg she has absolutely nothing b...
ROALD DAHL
You should never, never doubt something that no one is sure of.
ROALD DAHL
Two rights don't equal a left.
ROALD DAHL
Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets.
ROALD DAHL
Mr. Twit was a twit. He was born a twit. And, now at the age of sixty, he was a bigger twit than eve...
ROALD DAHL
My darling," she said at last, are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"...
ROALD DAHL
A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizz...
ROALD DAHL
The adult is the enemy of the child because of the awful process of civilizing this thing that, when...
ROALD DAHL
Nobody gets a nervous breakdown or a heart attack from selling kerosene to gentle country folk from ...
ROALD DAHL
It is most unlikely. But--here comes the big "but"--not impossible.
ROALD DAHL
I want an Oompa-Loompa!' screamed Veruca.
ROALD DAHL
It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you.
ROALD DAHL
We have tears in our eyes
As we wave our goodbyes,
We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL
When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important: A stodgy par...
ROALD DAHL
England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
...
ROALD DAHL
I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I'll put it before any of the...
ROALD DAHL
The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVE...
ROALD DAHL
If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts...
ROALD DAHL
I do not like film directors very much. They lack humility and they are too damn sure that everythin...
ROALD DAHL
I asked my mum, who's a very clever psychotherapist, and she says that kids love stories about death...
ROALD DAHL
Some adults forget what it was like to be a kid,'' Burton says.
ROALD DAHL
Some children are spoiled and it is not their fault, it is their parents.
ROALD DAHL
And Charlie, don't forget about what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted....
ROALD DAHL
Fairy tales have always got to have something a bit scary for children - as long as you make them la...
ROALD DAHL
We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it. - Charlie and the Chocolate Facto...
ROALD DAHL
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
ROALD DAHL
All the figures show that film-makers and publishers go for the safe option,'' says Peter Hunt, chil...
ROALD DAHL
It wasn't raindrops at all. It was a great solid mass of water that might have been a lake or a whol...
ROALD DAHL
Perhaps it's chasing me. But I don't think it will ever catch me because I am moving fast.
ROALD DAHL
Obscurity is never a virtue.
ROALD DAHL
If my books can help children become readers, then I feel I have accomplished something important.
ROALD DAHL
You mean to tell me,’ I said, ‘that every time I pleasure a young lady, I shoot into her two tho...
ROALD DAHL
Listening to my father during those early years, I began to realise how important it was to be an en...
ROALD DAHL
Prayers were held in Assembly Hall. We all perched in rows on wooden benches while teachers sat up o...
ROALD DAHL
Pear Drops were exciting because they had a dangerous taste. All of us were warned against eating th...
ROALD DAHL
The writer walks out of his workroom in a daze. He wants a drink. He needs it. It happens to be a fa...
ROALD DAHL
Had I not had children of my own, I would have never written books for children, nor would I have be...
ROALD DAHL
I am only 8 years old, I told myself. No little boy of 8 has ever murdered anyone. It's not poss...
ROALD DAHL
A writer of fiction lives in fear. Each new day demands new ideas and he can never be sure whether h...
ROALD DAHL
Unless you have been to boarding-school when you are very young, it is absolutely impossible to appr...
ROALD DAHL
Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more.
ROALD DAHL
When you're writing a book, with people in it as opposed to animals, it is no good having people...
ROALD DAHL
A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom.
ROALD DAHL
Having power is not nearly as important as what you choose to do with it.
ROALD DAHL
If you can think of anything more terrifying than that happening to you in the middle of the night, ...
ROALD DAHL
The writer has to force himself to work. He has to make his own hours and if he doesn't go to hi...
ROALD DAHL
Pain was something we were expected to endure. But I doubt very much if you would be entirely happy ...
ROALD DAHL
It's impossible to make your eyes twinkle if you aren't feeling twinkly yourself
ROALD DAHL
¿Os dais cuenta cabal de la cadena de crímenes tramados por la nena? Crimen número uno: la acusad...
ROALD DAHL
I'm wondering what to read next." Matilda said. "I've finished all the children's books.
ROALD DAHL
Ik heb gemerkt, juffrouw Engel, in mijn lange loopbaan in het onderwijs, dat een rotmeisje veel geva...
ROALD DAHL
Bunkum and tummyrot! You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that. Would Columbus...
ROALD DAHL
Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous...
ROALD DAHL
What she needed was just one person, one wise and sympathetic grown-up who could help her.
ROALD DAHL
I've always said to myself that if a little pocket calculator can do it why shouldn't I?
ROALD DAHL
In any event, parents never underestimated the abilities of their own children. Quite the reverse. S...
ROALD DAHL
Both Matilda and Lavender were enthralled. It was quite clear to them that they were at this moment ...
ROALD DAHL
There is little point in teaching anything backwards. The whole object of life, Headmistress, is to ...
ROALD DAHL
I'm afraid men are not always quite as clever as they think they are. You will learn that when you g...
ROALD DAHL
There aren’t many funny bits in Mr Tolkien either,’ Matilda said.
‘Do you think that all ...
ROALD DAHL
There's nothin' you can get from a book that you can't get from a television fastah!"
-Harry ...
ROALD DAHL
A girl should think about making herself look attractive so she can get a good husband later on. Loo...
ROALD DAHL
All the reading she had done had given her a view of life that they had never seen. If only they wou...
ROALD DAHL
I have found it impossible to talk to anyone about my problems. I couldn't face the embarrassment, a...
ROALD DAHL
Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make s...
ROALD DAHL
Did you know", Matilda said suddenly, "that the heart of a mouse beats at the rate of six hundred...
ROALD DAHL
From then on, Matilda would visit the library only once a week in order to take out new books and re...
ROALD DAHL
Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, someone like the kind, courageous people in her books.
ROALD DAHL
A BOOK?! WHAT D'YOU WANNA FLAMING BOOK FOR?...WE'VE GOT A LOVELY TELLY WITH A 12-INCH SCREEN AND NOW...
ROALD DAHL
And don’t worry about the bits you can’t understand. Sit back and allow the words to wash around...
ROALD DAHL
I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do i...
ROALD DAHL
All the reading she had done had given her a view of life that they had never seen.
ROALD DAHL
Here it is,' Nigel said.
Mrs D, Mrs I, Mrs FFI, Mrs C, Mrs U, Mrs LTY. That spells difficulty.'...
ROALD DAHL
I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.
ROALD DAHL
Matilda said, "Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the wh...
ROALD DAHL
No-one got rich being honest, the customers have to be diddled
ROALD DAHL
Era davvero uno strano spettacolo guardare quella personcina seduta, i cui piedi non arrivavano a te...
ROALD DAHL
This allowed her two glorious hours sitting quietly by herself in a cozy corner, devouring one book ...
ROALD DAHL
You chose books. I chose looks.
ROALD DAHL
What on earth were you trying to do, make yourself look handsome or something? You look like someone...
ROALD DAHL
You chose books, I chose looks . Now see the difference?
ROALD DAHL
I libri le aprivano mondi nuovi e le facevano conoscere persone straordinarie che vivevano una vita ...
ROALD DAHL
A little magic can take you a long way.
ROALD DAHL
Mr. Wonka: "Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted."
Cha...
ROALD DAHL
Oh where, oh where had Snow White gone?
She'd found it easy, being pretty
To hitch a ride ...
ROALD DAHL
Poor Cindy's heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! She thought. He chops off heads!
How cou...
ROALD DAHL
There's plenty of money out there. They print more every day. But this ticket, there's only five of ...
ROALD DAHL
There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll see them all when you study the plan...
ROALD DAHL
Now that I am alone, I don't have to hide it; I don't have to hide anything any longer. I can let my...
ROALD DAHL
Giants isn't eating each other either, the BFG said. Nor is giants killing each other. Giants is not...
ROALD DAHL
But where, you might ask, is this book that the BFG wrote? It’s right here. You’ve just finished...
ROALD DAHL
Sophie took the book out of his hand. ‘Nicholas Nickleby,’ she read aloud. ‘By Dahl’s Chicke...
ROALD DAHL
Well, first of all," said the BFG, "human beans is not really believing in giants, is they? Human be...
ROALD DAHL
. . . I am hearing all the secret whisperings of the world!
ROALD DAHL
Me is the only one what won't be gobbled up because giants is never eating giants
ROALD DAHL
I is not understanding human beans at all,’ the BFG said. ‘You is a human bean and you is saying...
ROALD DAHL
Sometimes, on a very clear night,’ the BFG said, ‘and if I is swiggling my ears in the right dir...
ROALD DAHL
So the music is saying something to them. It is sending a message. I do not think the human beans is...
ROALD DAHL
let your love out
ROALD DAHL
Human beans is the only animals that is killing their own kind.
ROALD DAHL
Titchy little snapperwhippers like you should not be higgling around with an old sage and onions who...
ROALD DAHL
Words', he said, 'is oh such a twitch-tickling problem to me all my life. So you must simply try to ...
ROALD DAHL
You is getting nosier than a parker.
ROALD DAHL
Two wrongs don't make a right.
ROALD DAHL
I is reading it hundreds of times,' the BFG said. 'And I is still reading it and teaching new words ...
ROALD DAHL
The maid screamed.
The Queen gasped.
Sophie waved.
ROALD DAHL
Meanings is not important, said the BFG. I cannot be right all the time. Quite often I is left inste...
ROALD DAHL
Do you like vegetables?" Sophie asked, hoping to steer the conversation towards a slightly less dang...
ROALD DAHL
Words," he said, "is oh such a twitch-tickling problem to me all my life.
ROALD DAHL
The witching hour, somebody had once whispered to her, was a special moment in the middle of the nig...
ROALD DAHL
Yesterday," he said, "we was not believing in giants, was we? Today we is not believing in snozzcumb...
ROALD DAHL
You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.
ROALD DAHL
Good day, Sir.
ROALD DAHL
There are no strangers in here, just friends you haven't met...
ROALD DAHL
Adventure is just bad planning.
ROALD AMUNDSEN
Let's go skiing right now!
ROALD AMUNDSEN
We must always remember with gratitude and admiration the first sailors who steered their vessels th...
ROALD AMUNDSEN
So we arrived, and planted our flag at the geographical South Pole. Thanks be to God!
ROALD AMUNDSEN
I'm excited about this year and I'm looking forward to competing on the Nationwide Tour. I'm ready t...
ANDREW DAHL
It means a lot to me to go undefeated. There were a lot of tough wrestlers here (like Riley). I did ...
ANDREW DAHL
It's going to be a good match. ... The way I look at it, it's just another kid to wrestle. Don't wor...
ANDREW DAHL
When he shot in overtime and got that nice double(-leg), I knew it was going to be over.
ANDREW DAHL
I won one (championship) as a freshman, and I want to win a couple more before I'm done.
ANDREW DAHL
[Infantry boot camp was so effective that Dye organized POW simulation exercises as well.] We made a...
JOHN DAHL
I told them you have to go out there and forget the score. You have to stop them from scoring and yo...
CHRISTINA DAHL
Frank was her one true love, she told me.
ARLENE DAHL
I considered the years in Hollywood nothing but an interim. What I always wanted was to be was a mus...
ARLENE DAHL
This class is special in the fact that they were completely dedicated to basketball. They're all I'v...
CHRISTINA DAHL
It's about righting a wrong. Somewhere along the line, someone screwed up. The feeling about the POW...
JOHN DAHL
It's a story about American combat in a foreign country, ... and it's a heroic story. Right now, not...
JOHN DAHL
I remember thinking this can't be happening, this can't be happening.
ELIZABETH DAHL
He didn't smoke or drink. He had low cholesterol. He worked out and walked a lot -- he didn't really...
ELIZABETH DAHL
It means a lot to know his memory is as alive for other people as it is for us.
ELIZABETH DAHL
You're walking around here with a smile on your face, Asher. It's freaking everybody out.
VICTORIA DAHL
Aw, hell, Tessa. I was in ninth grade. By the time I got to the part where I imagined a girl without...
VICTORIA DAHL
When we beat North Dakota here in 2001.
CRAIG DAHL
The atmosphere in here (Friday) was electric. That was my second-favorite game ever.
CRAIG DAHL
Up here it's a little different because you're not so emotionally involved in the game. You're not a...
CRAIG DAHL
I have two of them in the morning. I enjoy it for breakfast. It can be a treat.
ERIC DAHL
It was used and it worked yesterday.
ERIC DAHL
They basically backed the truck right out of the building.
ERIC DAHL
Yesterday's fire showed that nobody is immune to fire.
ERIC DAHL
We give them that emotional and physical assurance. We have a strong camaraderie of residents and st...
JAMES DAHL
For every day you spend in the hospital, you need two days here.
JAMES DAHL
We're a skilled nursing rehabilitation facility open to the community. We're staffed by nurses 24 ho...
JAMES DAHL
A yard for my little Charlie...he's fit right in, he seems like he loves it.
LORETTA DAHL
I met a man across the street, he's in a wheelchair and he patrols the neighborhood, yeah, and I met...
LORETTA DAHL
I hadn't ever really planned on owning a house again because I'm on social security.
LORETTA DAHL
It means...it just means so much that I can have a home and be independent...its just great.
LORETTA DAHL
One of the things I love about this program, the kids know this is a safe place to fall. For example...
JULI DAHL
Jerry said if anyone ever found out how much fun we were having, we'd have to pay an entertainment t...
JULI DAHL
We've used all kinds of resources to furnish this place.
JULI DAHL
We are right on the bubble as far as postseason play is concerned.
PAULA DAHL
Do as the Olympians do. Wear a helmet, even if you're not an elite skier or snowboarder especially i...
DR. ROALD BAHR
Wearing a helmet, if you're a skier or snowboarder, reduces your risk of having a head injury by 60 ...
DR. ROALD BAHR
Do as the Olympians do. Wear a helmet, even if you're not an elite skier or snowboarder -- especiall...
DR. ROALD BAHR
Do as the Olympians do. Wear a helmet, even if you're not an elite skier or snowboarder _ especially...
DR. ROALD BAHR