You haven't lived until you've died in California

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor.

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.