You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly.

You know what I do on Sundays? I sing in a choir. I sing in a Greek Orthodox choir, and I'm the only hillbilly tenor in the Orthodox Church.

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.

Never. Never ask for what ought to be offered.

I was a pretty good imitator of Roy Acuff, but then I found out they already had a Roy Acuff, so I started singin' like myself.

And we never got the mule, let alone the forty acres.