Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything.

Your folks are like God because you want to know they're out there and you want them to approve of your life, still you only call them when you're in a crisis and need something.

What you have to consider, is the possibility that God doesn't like you. Could be, God hates us. This is not the worst thing that can happen.

Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

Ignore how it feels when the only real talent you have is for hiding the truth. You have a God-given knack for committing a terrible sin. You have a natural gift for denial. A blessing.