Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.

Standup comedy is inordinately difficult. If doing something else for a living will make you equally happy, choose that instead. I'm serious. Comedy is punishing.

Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as a secrets to reveal. A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh.

Everybody has those stories that make them wince when they think about them silently. But as soon as you tell that story, it becomes a little bit less cringe-inducing.

I tell jokes, chat with people, and make stuff.

My hands are delicate and elegant, thank you very much. They're well-kept; my nails are clean.