Without a dog, no one will listen to your opinions for more than a few minutes without interrupting to tell you their opinions, which you won't find nearly as interesting.

Without a dog, you'd never have anyone demonstrate how important it is to stop every day and smell the roses... and then lift your leg on them.

When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day.

There are apparently three factors that lead to longevity: heredity, habits, and what your wife will let you get away with.

Without a dog, I would have tassels on my throw pillows instead of little stubs of yarn that look like small worms. The pillows seem to function just fine without the tassels, so perhaps it isn't a problem.

Your neighbors will be envious of your 3D printer - and if they're not, just print new neighbors. Design them so they'll like to bring you pies, maybe, or want to do your yard work for you.