Why do elephants go swimming? To get their trunks wet.

No no, not boxers, they look like these kind of swimming trunks type thing, underwear, and it's the sort of thing that... I really can't see anyone wanting to wear them! And I sort of just get in, and I've not actually seen the bit where you see me with my top half undressed... but I've seen the bit after that where I'm just in the bath. It is very funny with Moaning Myrtle. It's a really good scene, but I'm sort of a bit nervous about seeing that in the cinema.

It seemed like someone was coming in and swimming when they weren't there. They would see wet footprints on their deck.

Everything's getting wet. I looked up and here's this guy from the apartment complex swimming toward me.

Did you hear about this story? ... Several Minnesota Vikings players are being investigated after a boat cruise on a lake turned into a wild sex party on this boat. ? What are they, 1-3? One and three. That's the only offensive thing they've done all season, actually.

Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.