Jonathan Swift quote: "Whoever makes two ears of corn, or two blades of grass to grow where only one grew before, deserves better of mankind, and does more essential service to his country than the whole race of politicians put together"

Promises and Pye-Crusts, are made to be broken.
JONATHAN SWIFT

O Grub Street! how do I bemoan thee, whose graceless children scorn to own thee! . Yet thou hast gre...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Style may defined as the proper words in the proper places.
JONATHAN SWIFT

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another.
JONATHAN SWIFT

There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Vision: the art of seeing things invisible.
JONATHAN SWIFT

We are limited, not by our abilities, but by our vision.
JONATHAN SWIFT

If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a sco...
JONATHAN SWIFT

He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be pu...
JONATHAN SWIFT

If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scou...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Happiness is a perpetual possession of being well deceived.
JONATHAN SWIFT

The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false op...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Your notions of friendship are new to me; I believe every man is born with his quantum, and he canno...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Two friendships in two breasts requires The same aversions and desires.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained, the professors appearing, in my ju...
JONATHAN SWIFT

The two maxims of any great man at court are, always to keep his countenance and never to keep his w...
JONATHAN SWIFT

A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy ch...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches to conceive how others can be in want.
JONATHAN SWIFT

The lack of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.
JONATHAN SWIFT

The most positive men are the most credulous.
JONATHAN SWIFT

May you live every day of your life.
JONATHAN SWIFT

A footman may swear; but he cannot swear like a lord. He can swear as often: but can he swear with e...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Don't set your wit against a child.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Positiveness is a good quality for preachers and speakers because, whoever shares his thoughts with ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdo...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance.
JONATHAN SWIFT

The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet w...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Complaint is the largest tribute Heaven receives.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Rebukes are easy from our betters,
From men of quality and letters;
But when low dunces will ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

What some people invent the rest enlarge.
JONATHAN SWIFT

All human race would be wits. And millions miss, for one that hits.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you pleas...
JONATHAN SWIFT

In church your grandsire cut his throat; to do the job too long he tarried: he should have had my he...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
JONATHAN SWIFT

We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Argument, as usually managed, is the worst sort of conversation, as in books it is generally the wor...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.
JONATHAN SWIFT

One of the very best rules of conversation is to never, say anything which any of the company wish h...
JONATHAN SWIFT

And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Ambition often puts Men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same positio...
JONATHAN SWIFT

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.
JONATHAN SWIFT

For the rest,
Whatever we have got has been by infinite labor, and search, and ranging through e...
JONATHAN SWIFT

What they do in heaven we are ignorant of; what they do not do we are told expressly.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.
JONATHAN SWIFT

One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good.
JONATHAN SWIFT

When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

'Tis an old maxim in the schools,
That flattery's the food of fools;
Yet now and then your men...
JONATHAN SWIFT

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitch folk.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I will venture to affirm, that the three seasons wherein our corn has miscarried did no more contrib...
JONATHAN SWIFT

It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: a...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Come, agree, the law's costly.
JONATHAN SWIFT

There's none so blind as they that won't see.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own; wh...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Brutes find out where their talents lie;
A bear will not attempt to fly,
A foundered horse w...
JONATHAN SWIFT

But when a Man
JONATHAN SWIFT

Pretense is the overrating of any kind of knowledge we pretend to.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I said there was a society of men among us, bred up from their youth in the art of proving by words ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Interest is the spur of the people, but glory that of great souls. Invention is the talent of youth,...
JONATHAN SWIFT

I wont quarrel with my bread and butter.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.
JONATHAN SWIFT

It was a bold person that first ate an oyster.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Promises and pie crusts are made to be broken.
JONATHAN SWIFT

But you think that it is time for me to have done with the world, and so I would if I could get into...
JONATHAN SWIFT

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same positi...
JONATHAN SWIFT

And he gave it for his opinion, "that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

I warrant you lay abed till the cows came home.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Faith, that's as well said as if I had said it myself.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Reason is a very light rider, and easily shook off.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Nor do they trust their tongue alone, but speak a language of their own; can read a nod, a shrug, a ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.
JONATHAN SWIFT

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a...
JONATHAN SWIFT

How we apples swim.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Instead of dirt and poison, we have rather chosen to fill our hives with honey and wax, thus furnis...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Convey a libel in a frown. And wink a reputation down!
JONATHAN SWIFT

For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.
JONATHAN SWIFT

The worthiest people are the most injured by slander, as is the best fruit which the birds have been...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.
JONATHAN SWIFT

They say fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.
JONATHAN SWIFT

What some invent the rest enlarge.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I heard the little bird say so.
JONATHAN SWIFT

A prince, the moment he is crown'd, Inherits every virtue sound, As emblems of the sovereign p...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody else has thought.
JONATHAN SWIFT

So, naturalists observe, a flea Has smaller fleas that on him prey; And these have smaller sti...
JONATHAN SWIFT

A nice man is a man of nasty ideas.
JONATHAN SWIFT

In all distresses of our friends We first consult our private ends; While Nature, kindly bent ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

A man suffers death himself as often as he loses those dear to him.
JONATHAN SWIFT

He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be p...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Positiveness is a good quality for preachers and speakers because, whoever shares his thoughts wit...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Necessity is the mother of invention.
JONATHAN SWIFT

It is a maxim, that those to whom everybody allows the second place have an undoubted title to the ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms, I will no more believe than that th...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.
JONATHAN SWIFT

It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguishe...
JONATHAN SWIFT

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Never sleeping, still awake, Pleasing most when most I speak; The delight of old and young, ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Bread is the staff of life.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies but which let wasps and hornets break through.
JONATHAN SWIFT

The proper words in the proper places are the true definition of style.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength....
JONATHAN SWIFT

Faith! he must make his stories shorter or change his comrades once a quarter.
JONATHAN SWIFT

When a true genius appears in this world you may know him by the sign that the dunces are all in con...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches to conceive how others can be in want.
JONATHAN SWIFT

When a true genius appears in this world you may know him by this sign, that the dines are all in co...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same posture...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.
JONATHAN SWIFT

As love without esteem is capricious and volatile; esteem without love is languid and cold.
JONATHAN SWIFT

No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life, as not to receive new information from...
JONATHAN SWIFT

There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Books, the children of the brain.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.
JONATHAN SWIFT

We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their ow...
JONATHAN SWIFT

When a great genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in c...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Human brutes, like other beasts, find snares and poison in the provision of life, and are allured by...
JONATHAN SWIFT

The rolling fictions grow in strength and size, Each author adding to the former lies.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I know Sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs.
JONATHAN SWIFT

What some invent, the rest enlarge.
JONATHAN SWIFT

No preacher is listened to but time, which gives us the same train and turn of thought that elder pe...
JONATHAN SWIFT

The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and fals...
JONATHAN SWIFT

The want of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Most sorts of diversion in men, children and other animals, are in imitation of fighting.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Principally I hate and detest that animal called man; although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

No wise man ever wished to be younger.
JONATHAN SWIFT

A college joke to cure the dumps.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Our passions are like convulsion fits, which, though they make us stronger for the time, leave us th...
JONATHAN SWIFT

He was a bold man that first eat an oyster.
JONATHAN SWIFT

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in c...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy ch...
JONATHAN SWIFT

When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in co...
JONATHAN SWIFT

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love, one another.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want. -Jonath...
JONATHAN SWIFT

An old miser kept a tame jackdaw, that used to steal pieces of money, and hide them in a hole, whic...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Hail, fellow, well met, All dirty and wet: Find out, if you can, Who's master, who's man...
JONATHAN SWIFT

They never would hear, But turn the deaf ear, As a matter they had no concern in.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em. [Lat., Libertas et natale solum.]
JONATHAN SWIFT

Where Young must torture his invention To flatter knaves, or lose his pension.
JONATHAN SWIFT

'Tis an old maxim in the schools, That flattery's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Flattery is the worst and falsest way of showing our esteem
JONATHAN SWIFT

May you live all the days of your life.
JONATHAN SWIFT

It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.
JONATHAN SWIFT

It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have...
JONATHAN SWIFT

I row after health like a waterman...
JONATHAN SWIFT

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
JONATHAN SWIFT

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Where I am not understood, it shall be concluded that something very useful and profound is couched ...
JONATHAN SWIFT

One of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonab...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Whoever wishes to win in this game must have patience and money, since the values are so little cons...
JONATHAN SWIFT

A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he i...
JONATHAN SWIFT

The tucked-up sempstress walks hasty strides, While streams run down her oil'd umbrella's sides.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I must complain the cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand
JONATHAN SWIFT

And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to...
JONATHAN SWIFT

I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth
JONATHAN SWIFT

For the rest, whatever we have got has been by infinite labor, and search, and ranging through every...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I cannot but conclude that the Bulk of your Natives, to be the most pernicious Race of little odious...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Every dog must have his day.
JONATHAN SWIFT

One of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonab...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Old men and comets have been reverenced for the same reason: their long beards, and pretenses to for...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Laws are best explained, interpreted and applied by those whose interest and abilities lie in perver...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Proper words in proper places make the true definition of style.
JONATHAN SWIFT

A wise man is never less alone than when he is alone
JONATHAN SWIFT

War is the child of Pride, and Pride the daughter of Riches.
JONATHAN SWIFT

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed
JONATHAN SWIFT

Whatever the poets pretend, it is plain they give immortality to none but themselves; it is Homer an...
JONATHAN SWIFT

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman
JONATHAN SWIFT

Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruption.
JONATHAN SWIFT

The worthiest people are the most injured by slander, as is the best fruit which the birds have been...
JONATHAN SWIFT

A lie is an excuse guarded
JONATHAN SWIFT

Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Vision is the art of seeing the invisible.
JONATHAN SWIFT

When the belly is full, the bones would be at rest
JONATHAN SWIFT

What they do in heaven we are ignorant of; what they do not we are told expressly
JONATHAN SWIFT

Just get the right syllable in the proper place.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo, learning is nothing but wind.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Argument is the worst sort of conversation.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Some men, under the notion of weeding out prejudices, eradicate virtue, honesty, and religion
JONATHAN SWIFT

Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which, passing in at the ears, excites a titill...
JONATHAN SWIFT

All fits of pleasure are balanced by an equal degree of pain or languor; it is like spending this ye...
JONATHAN SWIFT

In all distresses of our friends We first consult our private ends
JONATHAN SWIFT

It is in men as in soils where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not.
JONATHAN SWIFT

Our passions are like convulsion fits, which, though they make us stronger for the time, leave us th...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Gulliver describes a royal personage inspiring awe among the tiny Lilliputians because he was taller...
JONATHAN SWIFT

The greatest inventions were produced in the times of ignorance, as the use of the compass, gunpowde...
JONATHAN SWIFT

Whoever makes two ears of corn, or two blades of grass to grow where only one grew before, deserves better of mankind, and does more essential service to his country than the whole race of politicians put together

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Jonathan Swift

Whoever makes two ears of corn, or two blades of grass to grow where only one grew before, deserves better of mankind, and does more essential service to his country than the whole race of politicians put together

Jonathan Swift

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