FastSaying

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.


Ambrose Bierce

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Honesty and trust, like a true friend can both be lost if you don't watch your step.
JEFFREY LEONARD Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
HARRY YOU We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
HARRY YOU Hold a true friend with both your hands.
PROVERB Hold on to your friend with both hands.
DHARM BABU Your likes = You like my work, Your dislikes = You want me to improve. Both are respected by me ! :)
ANUROOP TYAGI You were not born alone but with your best friend who sticks with you until you both die.
QAMAR KHAN QURESHI Be all that you can be.
You can be great.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY If you're with a close friend, your anger may raise his blood pressure as well as your own, wher...
DEAN ORNISH When the highwayman holds his gun to your head, you turn your valuables over to him. You 'consent' a...
ALEXANDER BERKMAN When the highwayman holds his gun to your head, you turn your valuables over to him. You 'consent' a...
ALEXANDER BERKMAN Both hands... Now use both hands. Oh no, don't close your eyes.
ANI DIFRANCO When the highwayman holds his gun to your head, you turn your valuables over to him. You 'consent' a...
ALEXANDER BERKMAN You can improve your overall vibration just by improving your paradigm. For example, if you are hope...
HINA HASHMI Stop not, unthinking, every friend you meet To spin your wordy fabric in the street; While you...
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, SR. Your past is waiting for you to dwell back. Your future is waiting with arms wide open and You are d...
ARSLAN AHMAD What on earth can you do on this earth but catch at whatever comes near you, with both your fingers,...
TENNESSEE WILLIAMS I know that
On the store there is real
And fake

Viagra.... both can kill youx ...
DEYTH BANGER If your vision doesn't scare you, then both your vision and your God are too small.
BROTHER ANDREW The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain ...
ELLEN DEGENERES When the highwayman holds his gun to your head, you turn your valuables over to him. You 'consent' a...
ALEXANDER BERKMAN You are safe inside your mind. No one can reach you there.
STEPHENIE MEYER Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies ne...
PATRICK NESS Life's irony; Both the business man & the armed robber have a common goal,for they both need the mon...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Your hands are not made to type out memos. Or put paper through fax machines. Or hold a phone up whi...
JAMES ALTUCHER If you have both money and bread, you can select with whom your daughter to wed.
VIKRANT PARSAI You better enjoy it while you can, ... And you better watch your money, because those paychecks stop...
BRAD JOHNSON We do hot waxing, edging and minor repairs on both skis and boards. While some stores require that y...
DWAYNE DAVIS Learn to watch your drama unfold while at the same time knowing you are more than your drama.
RAM DASS As I said, you can set your watch by that place.
BRIAN WILLIAMS Whenever you meet a man like that, my best advice to you would be to grin big and cover up your ball...
STEPHEN KING What you believe your future holds for you impacts your attitude, decisions and success.
MADDY MALHOTRA Harry Potter told his son you’re a great man. [...] He said you were the bravest man he’d ever m...
J.K. ROWLING They're both mental sports. You make one mistake and it can mess up your whole day. In both, you hav...
JEFF WHITE The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the forgiveness that you are able to give, ...
ANIL GUPTA Don't you ever think that your mind can never harm you just because it is your mind! Your mind can r...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH And you could ask your parents if they know who Flamel is,” said Ron. “It’d be safe to ask the...
J.K. ROWLING Hold a true friend with both hands.
NIGERIAN PROVERB Hold a true friend with both hands
AFRICAN PROVERB The difference between your friend and your best friend is that your friend asks, ‘Are you are ok?...
SAVANIA CHINA A real man can see your problems & accept you for them; if he really cared, he would help you to the...
JILLIAN JOYCE AARSVOLD You will find there are times you must grasp your life with both hands and forcefully steer it in a ...
RICHELLE E. GOODRICH ...you don’t have to choose between smart and sexy. You can have both. You are both.
SOPHIA AMORUSO No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT These are both excellent books for developing systems in your home and office, with many resources t...
DELMA SMITH Be a master of yourself.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA With Soap you can wash your hands but you can not wash your past
IGOR DABO The lunch break helps you stay focused and energized throughout the day by recharging both your body...
MIRIAM JACOBS The politicians don't just want your money. They want your soul. They want you to be worn down by ...
JAMES DALE DAVIDSON The politicians don't just want your money. They want your soul. They want you to be worn down by ta...
JAMES DALE DAVIDSON For the spouse of someone in the service, you are your own provider, your own lover, you own best fr...
JESSY SCHRAM While therefore your tears flow, let a due proportion be tears of joy. Yet take the bitter cup with ...
ADONIRAM JUDSON Falling into ruin was a bit like falling in love: Both descents stripped you bare and left you as yo...
J.R. WARD Give, and you may keep your friend it you lose your money; lend, and the chances are that you lose y...
EDWARD G. BULWER-LYTTON Saying you are sorry, accepting your apology, acknowledging your hurt and saying thank you. Will set...
KISHAN S CHAUHAN Why you should share your dreams;You Need both positive & negative energies to balance your dream eq...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) You can create absolutely new reality, both in your personal and professional life and with the same...
ROSHAN SHARMA If ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you are certain to be in peril.
SUN TZU His plan in your life means his work in your hands, and you can be sure it is work he has chosen and...
JILL BRISCOE Life's irony;It is only when there is a quarrel,you can actually differentiate between a bad friend ...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) When you listen to stereo on your home system, your both ears hear both speakers. Turn on the left s...
WOODY NORRIS A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets.
LAUREN OLIVER Derek's breath touched Sara's throat in unsteady urges. "Sometimes," he whispered, "I'm so close to ...
LISA KLEYPAS You can be all that you want to be.
Keep dreaming and reach out to your dreams.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA The simplest questions are the most profound. Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you...
RICHARD BACH Can you do something for someone while you don’t care about her/his reaction, thought or personal ...
LILY, PSYCHIC HEALER If I tell you an unpleasant truth about yourself, consider me both as your enemy and friend at the s...
APURVA GAGLANI If you can have your cake and eat it too, why not try to do both.
JACK MINTZ You own your feelings. You own your thoughts. You control both. No one has the right to any of it—...
CARLOS WALLACE Sometimes you feel sad and a friend can help a friend is not the Sheppard and he is not the lamb or ...
RONNIE HAIK Not every gift must you stretch your hands to take! Sometimes, just put your hands by your side and ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Abomination is the word to fight or abuse your spouse,for if you do,it shows you are insane because,...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) There's a world out there, and you've got to look at both sides of the mountain in your life...
BILL JANKLOW If you don't like someone, the way he holds his spoon will make you furious; if you do like him, he ...
IRVING BECKER If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend
ABRAHAM LINCOLN If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN That which you love most will then become both your strength and your weakness.
CRISS JAMI For me, brunch is such a versatile meal since you can play on both the sweet and savory in your dish...
MARCUS SAMUELSSON If a dog doesn't put you first where are you both? In what relation? A dog needs God. It lives by yo...
ENID BAGNOLD A friend who visits you when you are suffering is your best friend.
VIKRANT PARSAI I think when the time you meet your true love.. your other half.. that's the time both of you will d...
MJ CHRISTINE I've always wondered how much can you do for your fellow man if your hands are constantly stuck toge...
STANLEY VICTOR PASKAVICH You are the architect of your life.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA Shake paws, count your claws,
You steal mine, I'll borrow yours.
Watch my whiskers, check ...
BRIAN JACQUES I'm just fascinated by the past. You know, both by the possibilities it holds and by the complet...
SAMANTHA HARVEY There could be whole antiworlds and antipeople made out of antiparticles. However, if you meet your ...
STEPHEN HAWKING Friend, hope for the Guest while you are alive.Jump into experience while you are alive!Think...and ...
KABIR Not managing your time and making excuses are two bad habits. Don't put them both together by claimi...
BO BENNETT Hold a true friend with both hands. - Kanuri proverb, Nigeria
AFRICAN PROVERBS Your mind is your home. You create both, so you own it. So take control and create your imagination ...
PAUL E. EHIMEN We're looking for the ugliest bulldog you can get your hands on.
DOLPH PULLIAM Cloud services cut both ways in terms of security: you get off-site backup and disaster recovery, bu...
BARTON GELLMAN People need to prepare for a stable financial future. And make sure your money is in a safe place wi...
DR. CARMEL DYER My friend, when you always say "God is in control", while you have your feet on the brake pad, you a...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Consider the price. You can have anything you desire, plan for, and work to achieve. You cannot have...
TERENCE T. GORSKI

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE