While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.

[The undersecretary's blundering tour of the Middle East might be the latest incarnation of Innocents Abroad.] The people stared at us everywhere, and we stared at them, ... We bore down on them with America's greatness until we crushed them.

When a man is known to have no settled convictions of his own he can't convict other people

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.

Sometimes people do get hurt

One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself