When you're drunk, you always think you're not. If you even drink at all don't get behind the wheel.

My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him.

Actually, I've always wanted to be a professional skateboarder ever since I was about six.

Seeing people get messed up never gets un-funny! And there's plenty of ways to do that.

I'm on a lot of airplanes, so I just sip on red wine thinking of stupid ideas and, when I think of it, I wanna make it happen.

I like geography. I could tell you the capital of any country you want.