When the folks at Holiday Inn Express handed me a pancake with my very own face on it, I knew I had finally made it. Then, I grabbed a knife and fork, and tucked into my face. And I'm happy to report: I'm delicious.

Just take yourself back to September 2001. As that month went on, and as that autumn unrolled, everybody wanted to do something. How can I help? Do you want my blood? Do you want money for the victims? I was a captain in the Marine Corps. I knew what I could do. I was right there. I was ready. I saw it. I moved the rubble with my own hands.

I've always been a fan of comedy. I've always enjoyed it. It's something I'm very passionate about; it's like lifeblood to me. I had to pursue it. I thought I had a little bit of talent, and if I could make a living at it, I would do it. It's worked out so far.

I had just left 'Saturday Night Live' when I came to 'The Daily Show,' and it just felt like Jon was on my side. I'll always be grateful to him for that. I just got the impression he wanted me to succeed, and then I wanted to succeed for him. I think that's good leadership.

As long as my voice is here, and there is a Holiday Inn waiting for me, then everything's just swell.

Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork.