When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.