When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways - I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

It's not easy, when you're old and sick, to even get to a drugstore.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.