When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies." So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars."