When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

It's risky in a marriage for a man to come home too late, but it can sometimes pose an even greater risk if he comes home too early.

Its risky in a marriage for a man to come home too late, but it can sometimes pose an even greater risk if he comes home too early.

It’s risky in a marriage for a man to come home too late, but it can sometimes pose an even greater risk if he comes home too early.

The lower one speaks the closer a woman listens.