When I came back to Dublin I was court marshaled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence

...Actually, I'm a drinker with writing problems.

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society, except that which makes the road safer, the beer stronger, the old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier in the summer

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

The English and Americans dislike only some" Irish - the same Irish that the Irish themselves detest, Irish writers - the ones that think.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.