When he comes in and listens to a song that you're asking him to play on and he turns to you and says, 'Hmm, that chorus goes a little long, doesn't it?' you (acquiesce): 'Yes it does. Yes, of course , Mr. John Paul Jones, sir. You are absolutely correct.' It really was one of the most special things that happened to me in my entire life. Sitting down with an acoustic guitar, teaching John Paul Jones a song I'd written while he's playing it on piano - it was too much.
Dave Grohl
Related I tend to write on an acoustic guitar or the piano. I have kind of a rule: if I can't sit down a... TOM PETTY It was an extraordinary connection, the synergy within the band. There was an area of ESP between Ro... JIMMY PAGE If you can't play it on an acoustic guitar or a grand piano then it's not a song. CHRISTOPHER CROSS Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it SARA SHEPARD Born John Paul in Arbigland, Scotland on July 6, 1747, he started his seagoing career as an apprenti... HANK BRACKER There was absolutely no intention of splitting up. We had so many great ideas to use on the new albu... JOHN BONHAM Like, when I write a song, the song comes first before production. Everything is written on an acous... TAYLOR MOMSEN One of my initial memories of being taken over by music was watching Paul McCartney on TV play a tri... NATHANIEL RATELIFF How to get it, I annoy you??? You are not interested??? What's the idea??? DEYTH BANGER I was lucky enough to grow up in an era when radio was less formatted. It was really special. You co... TODD RUNDGREN Ace is very reclusive. That was really one of the first tracks that I did for the album. I met Ace b... KATHY VALENTINE Ace is very reclusive. That was really one of the first tracks that I did for the album. I met Ace b... KATHY VALENTINE I got this Christmas gift with the entire Beatles catalog. I had fun trying to duplicate what I was ... M. WARD People become more ignorant when it comes to religion. DANIEL MELGAçO [Paul volunteered to play on the song, so Kroeger overnighted him the tape and encouraged him to rec... CHAD KROEGER [Paul volunteered to play on the song, so Kroeger overnighted him the tape and encouraged him to rec... CHAD KROEGER The transformation that happens when a young artist goes on the road - you put the acoustic guitar d... DIERKS BENTLEY You release the pain of the past and press on. It's a new day, and God is doing a new thing. He want... CRAIG GROESCHEL Using assistive technology with your child prevents your child from missing out on content solely be... SANDRA K. COOK For me it always comes down to what is a good song and I'm very old fashioned in the way that I like... MARC ALMOND When I write a song, I always start on acoustic guitar, because that's a good test of a song, wh... MARTIN GORE It was a good wicket. Once you got set and used to the pace, you could really score runs as Paul Col... ANDREW FLINTOFF What is it that makes you so angry, bothers you so deeply, that you're compelled to act? CRAIG GROESCHEL We stood there for a minute or two, with John swaying gently against my arm. 'I'm feeling better,' h... GEORGE MARTIN It is a lie. ARTHUR MILLER I play piano and guitar. Acoustic guitar. I tried studying classical guitar when I was 16 but it got... KIP WINGER For me it always comes down to what is a good song and I'm very old fashioned in the way that I ... MARC ALMOND Now listen for your song. Everybody’s got a song. When I used to chase the Trane— John Coltrane ... DAVID MUTTI CLARK Somehow you can tell the difference when a song is written just to get on the radio and when what so... LYLE LOVETT In order to honor God with your wealth, you first have to admit that you are rich. Most people won't... CRAIG GROESCHEL I just thought it was phenomenal. It reminded me of what an influence John was—how strong an influ... DAVID LETTERMAN 38. “A wet bird never flies at night.” (My grandfather said that to me when I was a child and wa... JAMES C. DOBSON It is important to remember that John Paul II was not an American or a Frenchman. NORMAN DAVIES Paul Ryan whipped the votes to get fast track Trade Promotion Authority to sell our jobs to foreign ... PAUL NEHLEN From meeting Robert Plant, John Bonham, and John Paul Jones, teaming up, rehearsing, playing selecte... JIMMY PAGE I'd heard about a shipwreck that was never found - John Paul Jones' Bonhomme Richard. So I t... CLIVE CUSSLER Although I cannot see your face As you flip these poems awhile, Somewhere from some far-of... SHEL SILVERSTEIN When you give, you will be blessed. When you give, it will be given back to you. CRAIG GROESCHEL You know the actor John Garfield? In one movie he walked up to this train station, the ticket booth,... WAYNE SHORTER I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES One of my biggest thrills for me still is sitting down with a guitar or a piano and just out of nowh... PAUL MCCARTNEY You know the actor John Garfield? In one movie he walked up to this train station, the ticket booth,... WAYNE SHORTER I thought it sounded great, but at the same time I said, 'I think I am going to puke,' because you c... CHESTER BENNINGTON If you had to win a game, it's a toss-up between Steve Young, John Elway and Dan Marino, ... Steve h... FRANK GIFFORD Don't take it easy until life goes down to your level. EMILY THOMAS I think it was John who really urged me to play sitar on 'Norwegian Wood,' which was the fir... GEORGE HARRISON You know that we've got a few problems we need to talk through before we get married." "I... SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS That play and those performances had a huge impact. It just changed the whole trajectory of my life.... ANGELA BASSETT Life is weird and wonderful like that, is it not. SONYA.E.WILLIAMS I'm asking God to bless you with something that unsettles you, disturbs you, and upsets you. CRAIG GROESCHEL If by that you mean that I dislike celebrity magazines, prefer food to anorexia, refuse to watch TV ... JOHN GREEN I appreciate the fact that you have one redeeming quality, Jack, but that is all it is. Just a hint ... K.A. LINDE Listen to the Beatles' 'Things We Said Today.' Ringo Starr does not play a fill in the e... BENMONT TENCH Our position is that he had absolutely nothing to do with it. It was an accident. It happened while ... DAVID RUDOLF I had wanted to sing a song with Lee Ann for a while, ... I think she's a great singer, and she alwa... GEORGE STRAIT Well, for that matter, I was also a good friend of Leonardo da Vinci, Botticelli, Francis Bacon, Alb... ALYSON NOEL You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you a... PAULO COELHO [Before he testified, Mr. Cooper recalled that Mr. Fitzgerald counseled him to say what he remembere... MATTHEW COOPER I think Norah Jones is a perfect example. Here's somebody who was playing the music she wanted to pl... DAVID SANBORN I really enjoyed it when my kids were playing. Central was leading 70-54 and my son John comes into ... BOB JULIUS We may claim to believe in God, but we don't want to believe so much that it makes us different. CRAIG GROESCHEL 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' is a great classic by Paul McCartney and John Lennon, I sure love... GEORGE BENSON 37. It is better to be single and unhappy than unhappily married. JAMES C. DOBSON 35. God is entitled to a portion of our income—not because He needs it but because we need to give... JAMES C. DOBSON I realized I was gay in the shower one day with Barbra Streisand. It happened while I was lathering,... ROSS MATHEWS We showed him that clip of you singing ‘The Hanging Tree.’ It was never aired, so the Capitol co... SUZANNE COLLINS One of the disadvantages of poetry over popular music is that if you write a pop song, it naturally ... BILLY COLLINS I knew he had three days before he had to return to England and I just said 'Hey, Paul, wanna play o... RUSTY ANDERSON You silly," said Abdul, "those clouds don' mean nothing. I see'd them plenty a'ready. It was jus' co... THEO ENGELA He taught his football players basically the same thing we do. When you're in a football game, play ... DAVE CLEMENT If therefore you shall be remembered for what you did with what you had more than what you had, use ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH With this, it was, yes, we were excited about it but it was something new that we hadn't done before... ETHAN MENTZER Yes, I love to play drums and bass and guitar and piano. Those are the main instruments I play. That... JEFF LYNNE I wrote 'Lights' a long, long time ago. And I expected it to be on the album, because it was... ELLIE GOULDING A couple of days after the last time I saw him, I got a typically well-written postcard. He said tha... SARAH VOWELL He ran a great race that day. He just kind of went along head and head to the lead, and at the head ... BOB HOLTHUS He's one of those kids that the longer the game goes on he just seems to get stronger. He was a litt... DEREK DOUGAN When you look at a fellow, if you taught yourself to look for it, you can see his song written on hi... AUGUST WILSON I went head-to-head with him most of the game, playing all the special teams. He gave me a little en... CHASE BLACKBURN Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold ... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Hodor," said Hodor. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet ag... JOHN PAUL RICHTER Oh, yes, that never happened to me in my life before. It was a risky film, and I warned the producer... ALAIN RESNAIS Listen, Google,’ I will say, ‘both John and Paul are courting me. I like both of them, but in a ... YUVAL NOAH HARARI To stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeli... ASK AND IT IS GIVEN If you can dream it, you can do it. ENZO FERRARI Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. EDMUND BURKE I know John felt that he learned a lot of things playing football that served him well in his life. ... DAVE CLEMENT I dialed the number slowly, wanting to get it right. Two rings, and he picked up. "Yes," I sai... SARAH DESSEN Aaron, a lot of people probably would not attempt a song like that. The reality is that's a song tha... BARENAKED LADIES But when you hear the complete album, it gets dark, really straight-up rock, with some really intima... VANESSA CARLTON When your hair is rising, that's when you know it's a good song - that's happened to me ... JOSE GONZALEZ I believe it was Nat King Cole that my dad took me to see, and we were sitting in the dressing room,... JOHNNY MATHIS The chance to perform with these guys for such a great cause is something really special, ... Hopefu... CHESTER BENNINGTON But the reality is when you write a song, you should be able to strip away all the instruments and j... DWEEZIL ZAPPA We knew a game was going to come down to a pitch pass sometime. Paul and I would go out in the stree... BUTCH PEDERSEN It throws you out. I'm left-handed. It's like writing with my right hand. What you write is going to... DARDEN SMITH Mr. Selig looked at me and said, 'I want to know one thing. Did you bet on baseball?' ... I looked h... PETE ROSE John Spratt did a great job of constituent service. When somebody had a problem, he would jump on it... RALPH NORMAN Why did you marry Dad, Mom?" My mother sniffled through her nose, looked at me, then smiled. <... MARGARET MCMULLAN
More Dave Grohl
The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're... DAVE GROHL It's tough to go to sleep at night, and I wake up after five hours because I feel like I'm w... DAVE GROHL I taught myself how to play the guitar, I taught myself how to play the drums, and I kind of fake do... DAVE GROHL There's poetry in being the band that can sell out Wembley but also makes a record in a garage. ... DAVE GROHL My mother was a public school teacher in Virginia, and we didn't have any money, we just survive... DAVE GROHL Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that's stripped down. DAVE GROHL Singing into a microphone and learning to play an instrument - learning to do your craft - that'... DAVE GROHL My songwriting is like extending a hand to the listener. DAVE GROHL I stopped doing drugs when I was 20. I was finished with drugs before Nirvana even started. DAVE GROHL In this day and age, when you can use a machine or computer to simulate or emulate what people can d... DAVE GROHL I've experienced great things, I've experienced great tragedies. I've done almost everyt... DAVE GROHL Wow, I get to wake up again? Ok. You have to make good with what you've got. DAVE GROHL I think people should feel encouraged to be themselves. DAVE GROHL When you're young, you're not afraid of what comes next. You're excited by it. DAVE GROHL Your personal history is a part of what happens with your hands and your head as you play music. DAVE GROHL When there's so much left to do, why spend your time focusing on things you've already done,... DAVE GROHL There's always gonna be rock n' roll bands, there's always gonna be kids that love rock ... DAVE GROHL If there's one thing I'm good at, it's gathering people together to do something fun. DAVE GROHL Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It's a black wal... DAVE GROHL I'm kind of claustrophobic... It's not even like enclosed spaces. It's like I hate being... DAVE GROHL I once received a cape that was made from the little purple bags that Crown Royal Whisky comes in. DAVE GROHL I have crazy claustrophobic dreams, weird elevator dreams where the elevator closes in and all of a ... DAVE GROHL I can understand how some people might resent me for having the audacity to continue playing music, ... DAVE GROHL Give me something to assemble, I won't look at the directions, I'll try to figure it out by ... DAVE GROHL I know a lot of people who wouldn't be comfortable with everything that comes with being in a ba... DAVE GROHL Whenever I say I made a record in the garage, people just assume that I have, like, a Lear jet parke... DAVE GROHL There's a big difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with someone a... DAVE GROHL From one generation to the next, The Beatles will remain the most important rock band of all time. DAVE GROHL Because you have things like 'American Idol' and you've got radio stations that play mus... DAVE GROHL When Nirvana became popular, you could very easily slip and get lost during that storm. I fortunatel... DAVE GROHL When you're recording to analog tape, it captures performance and you can't necessarily mani... DAVE GROHL People are so into digital recording now they forgot how easy analog recording can be. DAVE GROHL A lot of the records you buy, there's nothing you can hold in your hand, it's all 1's an... DAVE GROHL When digital technology started becoming the norm, you've got 50, 60, 70 years of recordings on ... DAVE GROHL I never needed much, and I never thought I'd get more than what I had. A trip to Burger King was... DAVE GROHL When I joined Nirvana, I was the fifth or sixth drummer - I don't know if they'd ever had a ... DAVE GROHL Mick Fleetwood was one of my first interviews. And if you've ever talked to that dude, he's ... DAVE GROHL Ladies and gentlemen, god bless America - land of the free, home of the brave. DAVE GROHL I love to play music. So why endanger that with something like drugs? DAVE GROHL I don't like to have people do stuff for me. I don't like to have runners go out and get me meals - ... DAVE GROHL It was that famous joke: What's the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the ... DAVE GROHL You know, Nirvana used to start rehearsals with the three of us just jamming. For, like, a half an h... DAVE GROHL I don't think of Kurt as 'Kurt Cobain from Nirvana'. I think of him as 'Kurt'. I... DAVE GROHL I owe everything to Nirvana. But I can't let that overshadow the future. For the first few years... DAVE GROHL I've always been a fan of melody and emotional melancholy, whether it was Rites of Spring or Tea... DAVE GROHL I'm so not macho. It's crazy. My man cave is so not a man cave. DAVE GROHL I had never been in charge of anything. I'd always worked for someone. I worked for a furniture ... DAVE GROHL There's a reason why the Foo Fighters don't blast out Nirvana songs every night: because we ... DAVE GROHL There weren't a lot of career opportunities in crazy-fast hardcore punk, so you didn't have ... DAVE GROHL I'm obsessed with Led Zeppelin and have been since I was a teenager, DAVE GROHL I'm big on taking the lady out to dinner. We have some candlelight romance every now and then. And o... DAVE GROHL that dude who played drums in Nirvana. DAVE GROHL Neil Young is my hero, and such a great example. You know what that guy has been doing for the past ... DAVE GROHL I don't really know how to explain it, ... I think that those are just the type of songs that I imag... DAVE GROHL Going out and playing music - that's what I do. I don't do much else. DAVE GROHL I love BLACK SABBATH . They made an amazing contribution to music today. Almost every band that made... DAVE GROHL I like to keep things going, ... No breaks... We have such little time together! DAVE GROHL CBGB represents a lot to New York City and to underground rock and to new wave and post-punk and wha... DAVE GROHL Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that's stripped down. DAVE GROHL We'd pull into small towns, and thousands of people would come to be rescued by this man, DAVE GROHL All I really had was a suitcase and my drums. So I took them up to Seattle and hoped it would work. DAVE GROHL Usually after making a record, you imagine it to be your last, ... You just feel tapped out. This ti... DAVE GROHL At 13 years old, I realized I could start my own band. I could write my own song, I could record my ... DAVE GROHL I never went to rock concerts when I was a kid. I didn't see any rock & roll bands. I had po... DAVE GROHL I never went to rock concerts when I was a kid. I didn't see any rock & roll bands. DAVE GROHL Actually, I didn't start sweating until I had children. DAVE GROHL I didn't start sweating until I had children. That was one of the first things I realized when m... DAVE GROHL When you're thirteen and listening to punk, the aggressive nature of music can sway you to the d... DAVE GROHL A lot of people from my generation of music are so focused on playing things correctly or to perfect... DAVE GROHL I'm happy that I have my family, and I'm happy that I had Virginia, where I grew up, to retr... DAVE GROHL When I listen to the radio, I just hear so much music that doesn't even sound like people. The v... DAVE GROHL I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ... DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But... DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi... DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe... DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a... DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod... DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t... DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui... DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s... DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk. DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou... DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a... DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra... DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible. DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio... DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a... DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se... DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each... DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be... DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ... DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ... DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea... DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ... DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts. DAVE FREUDENTHAL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do... DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va... DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'... DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ... DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts.. Everything is ONE! DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY I'm so alive. As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte... DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr... DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi... DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on... DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu... DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church. DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth... DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l... DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee Making plans to change the world While the world is changing... DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En... DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time... DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me? DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit... DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ... DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading. DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long. DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b... DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o... DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be... DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula... DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ... DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told. DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ... DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ... DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in... DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went... DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo... DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon. DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ... DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer... DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p... DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they... DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst... DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas... DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y... DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h... DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa... DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta... DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe... DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason. DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ... DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza... DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won... DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu... DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute... DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort. DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th... DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys... DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit... DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ... DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c... DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo... DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa... DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ... DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi... DAVE BARRY