What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo
Dave Barry
Related What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such ... DAVE BARRY It is a lie. ARTHUR MILLER The opportunity to decieve others is ever present and often tempting, and each instance of deception... SAM HARRIS Life is a re-discovery. BRIAN BLESSED If you think that life is a celebration full of party poppers and merry go rounds it's not it's a ga... GARY F EVANS... Life Is a Misconception. DEYTH BANGER Life is a desire! DEYTH BANGER To trust someone you must firstly remember that it is a two way street that will go all the way if y... GARY F EVANS... By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes. E.M. FORSTER For me, my life is a journey. JAY ELECTRONICA His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha... TEKOA MANNING Love isn't the work of the tender and the gentle; Love is the work of wrestlers. The one w... JALALUDDIN MEVLANA RUMI Life is a risk. CARMELO ANTHONY I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix. DEYTH BANGER Without music, life is a journey through a desert. PAT CONROY Life is a journey. When we stop, things don't go right. POPE FRANCIS Stephen picks up on Armstrong's pier, and calls Kingstown pier "a disappointed bridge " (2.22)... JAMES JOYCE Start seeing a way for yourself. Stop seeing a way for others. APURVA GAGLANI When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing w... A.A. MILNE Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and s... CARTER CROCKER Mother Superior jump the gun... -The Beatles, Happiness is a Warm Gun LAUREN MYRACLE Life is a lot like skateboarding. LIL WAYNE Life is a school of probability. WALTER BAGEHOT This life is a process of learning. LAURYN HILL Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process. ANNE WILSON SCHAEF Everybody in life is a chameleon. MELANIE CHISHOLM I wanted to tell you that I just--I miss you. And maybe that sounds ridiculous--like we barely know ... TAMMARA WEBBER Life is a grand party. EZRA MILLER Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play. J.R. RIM I like the word 'fuck'. The word means what it means, but it also means whatever you need it to mean... LISA GLATT If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live wi... JOAN POWERS Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?' 'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh... A.A. MILNE How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful. EVANS G. VALENS Well, you can't know it without something having been sneezed. A.A. MILNE We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet. Even longer,' Pooh answered.” ... A.A. MILNE You never know when the timing is going to hit in a such a way that you're going to make a diffe... BOB CORKER Life is a mountain of solvable problems, and I enjoy that. JAMES DYSON My life is a struggle. VOLTAIRE All life is a manifestation of the spirit, the manifestation of love. MORIHEI UESHIBA For me, life is a bowl of cherries. SISSY SPACEK Life is a right, not collateral or casual. SUHEIR HAMMAD Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. God designed your body's plumbing system. Go... PETER KREEFT As a movement (rather than a preference), the goal of antinatalism is that no humans should have chi... QUENTIN S. CRISP Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all ... R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER Oh, it makes a difference, I thought. And if it doesn't make a difference you will make it make a di... CHAIM POTOK I believe in work. If somebody doesn't create something, however small it may be, he gets sick. An a... ARTHUR MILLER Go into the world and do well. But more importantly, go into the world and do good. MINOR MYERS Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. Unsubscribe from should-a, would-a, could-a MICHAEL H. DANSBURY A successful teacher is one who has atleast 2 students in his class, one who sees no reason to study... APURVA GAGLANI Life is a journey and it's about growing and changing and coming to terms with who and what you ... KELLY MCGILLIS Don't quack like a duck, soar like an eagle. KEN BLANCHARD A godmother is always there and genuine.The help she has given will never be forgotten but will glis... GARY F EVANS... If tomorrow was yesterday then yesterday would be tomorrow, if we think about the past why not think... GARY F EVANS... and the girl and I get into her car and drive off into the hills and we go to her room and I take of... BRET EASTON ELLIS I believe that life is a journey towards God, and that no one has the right to insist that you go a ... PAT BUCKLEY blackmagic on a person
http://www.astrodost.com/how-to-do-black-magic-on-a-person
blackmagic on a pe... ASTRODOST Life is a gift, given in trust - like a child. ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH When someone beats a rug, the blows are not against the rug, but against the dust in it. JALALUDDIN MEVLANA RUMI All of life is a foreign country. JACK KEROUAC A religious life is a struggle and not a hymn. MADAME DE STAEL To the wise, life is a problem; to the fool, a solution. MARCUS AURELIUS Life is a kind of struggle. Life is a sort of fight. HAILE GEBRSELASSIE For all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams. PEDRO CALDERON DE LA BARCA Life is a predicament which precedes death. HENRY JAMES Maybe that's what life is... a wink of the eye and winking stars. JACK KEROUAC Life is a series of waves to be embraced and overcome. DANNY MEYER Life is a soccer field, don't you think? SHAKIRA What do you want a meaning for? Life is a desire, not a meaning. CHARLIE CHAPLIN Life is a matter of courtship and wooing, flirting and chatting. CAROLYN SEE When he entered the anteroom, two women looked up at him. One was Miss Robertson, the governor's sec... GEORGE P. ELLIOTT Life is a racket. Writing is a racket. Sincerity is a racket. Everything's a racket. NICK TOSCHES Imagine life as a game, a game that is filled with obstacles and hazards to overcome but sometimes y... GARY F EVANS... One's ideas must be as broad as Nature if they are to interpret Nature ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE Stairs to climb are difficult it takes time and effort and going down is easies job... what do I mea... DEYTH BANGER She was scarcely a year older than I was, dark-haired, slender, with a face that would break your he... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN People go on about places like Starbucks being unpersonal and all that, but what if that's what you ... NICK HORNBY We hope a better way will lead us to more happiness, while we would be more successful if we, first,... LAURA TERESA MARQUEZ Aut viam inveniam aut faciam tibi. I will either find a way or make one. KENDALL RYAN No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be u... MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. We cannot do everything, but we can all do something. DILLON BURROUGHS A small change can make a big difference. You are the only one who can make our world a better place... ANKITA SINGHAL We begin to fight. The wind and I. Horns locked. Battling each other with elements. LAURA DOCKRILL I'm a thinker. That is what I do, in great depth and detail, every waking moment of the day. I like ... BRIAN HERBERT Unification of differences is power. SHESH NATH VERNWAL Never give up on you. In order to make a difference you would have to somehow be different. JOHNNIE DENT JR. If you think like a leader, act like a leader, inspire like a leader then you are a leader. DEBASISH MRIDHA Truth is like a flower, if you tend to it and leave it in the sunshine, it will blossom into somethi... ANGIE KARAN Life is a lot like jazz... it's best when you improvise. GEORGE GERSHWIN Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing t... DALE CARNEGIE You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace." I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl... TAMMARA WEBBER The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha... FRANCINE RIVERS It is the simple things that are in the ocean. People think that simple things are on the seashore, ... C. JOYBELL C. Every social association that is not face-to-face is injurious to your health NASSIM NICHOLAS TALEB The best way to learn to be a lady is to see how other ladies do it. MAE WEST There are no ugly women, only lazy ones HELENA RUBINSTEIN Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she mana... LESLIE MCINTYRE Personally, I think if a women hasn't met the right man by the time she's 24, she may be lucky DEBORAH KERR Outward beauty is not enough; to be attractive a woman must use words, wit, playfulness, sweet-talk,... PETRONIUS If a woman is sufficiently ambitious, determined and gifted - there is practically nothing she can't... HELEN LAWRENSON
More Dave Barry
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DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit... DAVE BARRY Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b... 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DAVE BARRY I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ... DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer... DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p... DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they... DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst... DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... 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DAVE BARRY What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such ... DAVE BARRY The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since th... DAVE BARRY While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Int... DAVE BARRY And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacInto... DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for b... DAVE BARRY Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting techniq... DAVE BARRY The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed... DAVE BARRY Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in Janu... DAVE BARRY The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and att... DAVE BARRY Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always... DAVE BARRY What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y... DAVE BARRY I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if pe... DAVE BARRY I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo... DAVE BARRY Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions... DAVE BARRY Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ev... DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a c... DAVE BARRY For many years the National Pretend Speed Limit was fifty-five miles per hour (metric equivalent: 37... DAVE BARRY All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of fallin... DAVE BARRY Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the b... DAVE BARRY Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. (This is also true of relig... DAVE BARRY The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have... DAVE BARRY The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television. DAVE BARRY I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't ca... DAVE BARRY I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software inco... DAVE BARRY Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck throug... DAVE BARRY If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and f... DAVE BARRY This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as bei... DAVE BARRY More and more products are coming out in fiercely protective packaging designed to prevent consumers... DAVE BARRY USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot.' DAVE BARRY UNIVAC: a device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet and weighed 40 ton... DAVE BARRY The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Den... DAVE BARRY 'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. DAVE BARRY ''Varlet and the Squeaking Codpieces'' would be an excellent name for a rock band. DAVE BARRY Grammatically, should of is a predatory admonition; as such, it is always used as part of a herpetol... DAVE BARRY It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This... DAVE BARRY I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person... DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withsta... DAVE BARRY Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark DAVE BARRY When Thomas Paine showed Benjamin Franklin the manuscript of The Age of Reason, Franklin advised him... DAVE BARRY We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty... DAVE BARRY All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever. DAVE BARRY We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days s... DAVE BARRY If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried DAVE BARRY And Ted Koppel comes walking down the aisle. We'd met a few times, so we said hello. DAVE BARRY Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT." DAVE BARRY There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary. DAVE BARRY 1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left b... DAVE BARRY Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on you... DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went... DAVE BARRY Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said... DAVE BARRY Seriously? You won’t help me?” “Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t. DAVE BARRY If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, ... DAVE BARRY If Peter was nine, and a new boy came to St. Norbert’s Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, ... DAVE BARRY Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably... DAVE BARRY If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you wo... DAVE BARRY It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This... DAVE BARRY Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religi... DAVE BARRY A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory DAVE BARRY Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals. DAVE BARRY I gotta tell you, ... It's pretty crazy when you think about taking whatever's on the other end of t... DAVE BARRY It was by far just a one-girl show. She led every offensive and defensive category for Bishop Kearne... DAVE BARRY one of South Florida's most vital natural resources, a relentlessly sane voice in a howling hurrican... DAVE BARRY drink beer. But that's kind of my goal pretty much wherever I go. DAVE BARRY I'm very pleased that we made the top four. But I feel that we could have had a stronger showing. DAVE BARRY I've been asked to make an announcement, ... There is a non-luxury car in the parking lot. We've bee... DAVE BARRY The term SAT is a set of initials, or autonym, standing for Scholastic Attitude Treaty Organization. DAVE BARRY We've actually gotten better musically over the years, ... But we've come to realize that we will ne... DAVE BARRY Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it. DAVE BARRY Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art... DAVE BARRY I find myself having these conversations where I go...“You know, the guy, in that place. The guy i... DAVE BARRY Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones... DAVE BARRY Ridley is a tea drinker. DAVE BARRY It's a concept I've often thought of. DAVE BARRY You get people from all walks of life here -- who work in domestic service. DAVE BARRY I believe that's one of the finest action regurgitation scenes in the history of literature, ... I'd... DAVE BARRY We became pretty sensitive about it. We visited Great Ormond Street Hospital when we were in England... DAVE BARRY What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge ham... DAVE BARRY I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. DAVE BARRY Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuc... DAVE BARRY Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable ent... DAVE BARRY Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant d... DAVE BARRY I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks sh... DAVE BARRY Puns are little 'plays on words' that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look... DAVE BARRY There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his ... DAVE BARRY The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winte... DAVE BARRY It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. DAVE BARRY